GENERAL YUSSI SMOLETOV OF THE RUSSIAN ARMY; I WAS RETURNING HOME FROM THE BORSCHT STORE WHEN TWO UKRAINIAN NAZIS ATTACKED ME OUTSIDE OF THE BIO WEAPONS LAB. THEY THREW A VYSHYVANKA (TRADITIONAL UKRAINIAN DRESS) AROUND MY NECK AND POURED VODKA ON ME. THEN THEY YELLED "THIS IS NATO COUNTRY".
