Been trying to figure how to put this for days, so excuse the delay.
On the one hand, if you make yourself and whatever of you too available, people will take it, and take it for granted, and will have less problem throwing it away than if they had to work for it.
On the other hand, overdo distancing yourself, and you might end up losing yourself and the principles you value in the process.
So is it gain or self respect? The key is both, not letting yourself go while striving for what you seek.
In recent years online, I noticed that with potentials I chatted with, I focused on the physical and activities that went with that. Yeah, I talked about other stuff like I do on this site, but I tended to keep emotions and my widdle heart out of it quite a bit.
I started regretting that, and have tried to approach some (after eventually losing contact - most tended to live too far and I ain't good with long term web connections, not that I was offering that) and apologize for it but chickened out with two I contacted.
One person on Messenger replied a quick hello when I said hi but nothing when I replied a few weeks later (I had not been using FB much, so initially missed the message), so I tried again a few months later, but again, nothing. I then looked and found out she passed had away (round Jan 2020). Don't know why, just saw posts from friends on her page and that it was totally unexpected.
And of course I feel like crap, because I never bothered to indulge the thought she may have very well wanted something deeper. So it was horrible to find out she passed away, and worse for me because I just talked about the physical and not about what she may have felt or sought in a relationship.
She lived in NY like me too, only way Upstate. She had been alone for awhile too, so who knows what I could have offered in her life if I wasn't so intent on being emotionally distant.
So not wanting to be vulnerable made me a pos.
Bottom line: You have to do what's best for you, but not forget that people still matter.
