You wanna hear something crazy? Bedbug reproduction. So bedbugs have a stabby p**is, right? And they don't even aim for female genitalia, they can just stab her and inseminate her anywhere on her body, because there are canals in the carapace to take the semen where it needs to go. Crazier, 50% of the copulation they do is homosexual, 20% is cross species, and only 30% is with female bedbugs. Now, it's a common myth that bedbugs can't tell between male and female bedbugs - WRONG. You see, what happens is when a male bedbug inseminates another male bedbug, that semen goes into the male and gets combined, so when that male inseminates another female or male they get a combination of both. So, the bedbug that stabs the most things the fastest - and they can copulate 200 times a day - has the best reproductive success.
But it gets crazier. There's a tropical species of bedbug that can shoot semen several centimeters. Now these bedbugs are only a centimeter long, so I did the math, and it's about the equivalent of a human male at 6 feet tall shooting 8 gallons of semen and shooting it over 12 feet. But remember how I said how they can inseminate anywhere in the female's body? They shoot it with a velocity to pierce the carapace of the female - it literally snipes her, from centimeters away. So, 6 foot tall man, 8 gallons of semen, 12 feet away.
