I guess I don’t really hate love, just the circumstances of mine

THIS IS RANDOM, BUT I HATE LOVE. I’VE BEEN HAVING TONS OF DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO I HAVE AN ALTEROUS ATTRACTION TO, AND THEY LIVE HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY, AND THE ONLY TIME I CAN TALK TO THEM, OTHER HUMANOIDS ARE NEARBY SO I DON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DEAL WITH HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM. THEY KNOW I HAVE SOME SORT OF ATTRACTION TO THEM, BUT I CAN’T TELL THEM A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO TELL THEM ABOUT, I ALSO CAN’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING LGBTQ RELATED WITH THEM BECAUSE, AGAIN, OTHER HUMANOIDS WHO I FEEL JUST COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO COME OUT TO, NOT TO TELL DETAILS TO. WHAT’S WORSE IS I DON’T LIKE TO CRY BECAUSE IF I DO, PEOPLE GET WORRIED ABOUT ME, WHICH JUST MAKES IT WORSE, AND RECENTLY I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE CRYING BECAUSE I CAN’T TALK TO WHO I WANT TO, BUT I DON’T WANT TO CRY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I KNOW, SO I END UP JUST CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP LATE AT NIGHT, WHICH DOES HELP WHEN I DO IT, BUT IT’S HARDER TO FUNCTION IN THE DAY