REMEMBER THE GOAL IS TO PREVENT YOU FROM VOTINGS....AND THE TOOLS USED ARE SUBTLE AND NUMEROUS; PARKER! LET'S CALL THE RACE FOR THE DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE! THEY ARE WINNING! THEY HAVE ONLY COUNTED 1% OF THE BALLOTS AND THE POLLS ARE STILL OPEN SIR! CALLING THE ELECTION WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE! BUT I WANT THE DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE TO WIN! AND HOPEFULLY ANY REPUBLICANS STILL WAITING IN LINE WILL ASSUME ALL IS LOST AND NOT BOTHER VOTING! HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU DEMOCRATS MAY DECIDE NOT TO VOTE? SINCE YOU TOLD THEM VICTORY IS CERTAIN? THAT'S OK. IF THE REPUBLICAN WINS, WE'LL JUST CALL THEM A RACIST, SEXIST, CHILD HATER AND HOMOPHOBIC FOR THEIR ENTIRE TERM. THAT'S OUTRIGHT LYING SIR! THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE HAS 6 DAUGHTERS, HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER IS A BLACK LESBIAN, AND HIS WIFE IS HALF CHEROKEE! PLUS THOSE HALLOWEEN PICS OF THE DEMOCRAT CANDIDATE DRESSED AS THE KKK ARE BOUND TO LEAK! PARKER, PEOPLE READ THE DAILY BUGLE TO HEAR EVERYTHING IS STATUS QUO. THEY DON'T READ OUR PAPER FOR FACTS! I SAY HE'S RACIST! NOW RUN THE STORY!
