and when i come here to get a break i still feel like shit.

do you ever just get so f**king sick and tried and just wish that you where dead; like im f**king trying, i wanna be noticed but people just refuse to see it and they know that it f**king hurts me so they just keep on doing it and im so f**king tried of trying to be happy, trying to please other people it's f**king annoying, and stressful and its burnt the f**k out of me and im done .-. ive been trying for all of my life to get the attention of my adoptive parents but they just refuse to care of me, and irl, my friends are always making fun of me like my feelings dont mean a shit, once i was having a panic attack and they took it as a joke and just left me there and i had to pick myself back up and walk home, but still till this day they have not apologized, when i explained they said "oh, alright then." and just moved on like i didn't feel some type of way about it. And i dont even wanna talk about my mom, shes nice but not the best. she lets my dad beat me and abuse me and at that, shes one of the only people that care for me, even though shes beat me a few times, but at this point im not sure if she care ether. now to my dad. he beats me every other day, he always says hurtful things to me and once almost called me out of my name, he constantly forces me to do bad things and when i have my panic attacks he makes fun of me and idk what the hell to do about it :/