"2 AUGUST 2021
YOU WILL BE VACCINATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- THE WALT DISNEY CORPORATION HAS UNVEILED A COMPULSORY VACCINATION CAMPAIGN TO JAB THOUSANDS OF TRADEMARKED CARTOON CHARACTERS WITH COVID SHOTS.
ACCORDING TO A CORPORATE STATEMENT, “AT DISNEY, THE SAFETY AND WELL-BEING OF OUR 'TOONS DURING THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN AND CONTINUES TO BE A TOP PRIORITY."; THE LONG LIST OF CHARACTERS TO BE VACCINATED INCLUDES NOT ONLY CLASSIC 'TOONS LIKE MICKEY AND MINNIE MOUSE, BUT ALSO CHARACTERS FROM THE VARIOUS OTHER FRANCHISES THAT DISNEY HAS BOUGHT OUT OVER THE YEARS IN ITS QUEST FOR WORLD DOMINATION, INCLUDING LUCASFILM (OF STAR WARS INFAMY), PIXAR (CURRENTLY BUSY FINDING NEMO TO GIVE HIM THE INJECTION) AND MARVEL COMICS (WHICH ENTRAPS SPIDERMAN IN THE SAME EVIL CORPORATE WEB)."
