Darmug's announcement template

121 views • 7 upvotes • Made by Darmug_II 3 years ago in MS_memer_group

16 Comments

idiot.
1 up, 3y, 1 reply
sorry im not reading that
[deleted] M
1 up, 3y, 1 reply
I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gates, releasing the evil that moments
[deleted] M
1 up, 3y
gummy bear shits
Scorpzero
1 up, 3y, 1 reply
Mucho texto
[deleted] M
1 up, 3y, 1 reply
I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gates, releasing the evil that moments
Scorpzero
1 up, 3y
I'm not going to read this giant wall of text, sorry bro
Cinnamonbruhhasmadealongtitleidk
0 ups, 3y
i purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was liter
Funguy.M
0 ups, 3y, 1 reply
wot on earth-
Cinnamonbruhhasmadealongtitleidk
1 up, 3y, 1 reply
you read i purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat ect ect
Funguy.M
0 ups, 3y
ik lol

who tf posted that
[deleted]
0 ups, 3y
oh s h i t
[deleted] M
0 ups, 3y
Tf
Tempest.The.Zeraora
0 ups, 3y, 3 replies
This could be a copypasta
[deleted] M
1 up, 3y
"I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gates, releasing the evil that moments
Cinnamonbruhhasmadealongtitleidk
1 up, 3y
"I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gates, releasing the evil that moments
Tempest.The.Zeraora
0 ups, 3y
This is a real review from Amazon; "I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gat

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This is a real review from Amazon; "I purchased these “Gummy Bears” thinking “Sounds like a nice purchase, 5 Lbs. of delicious candy for a decent price.. Can’t go wrong.” Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.. IT CAN GO VERY WRONG!! First of all, I made the mistake of not reading the reviews before my purchase, and that was a mistake I will live with for the rest of my life due to the trauma I received after eating two handfuls of these. I was excited to try these first time and I will say this, they were surprisingly tasteful for being “Sugar Free” and I regretfully decided to try less than two handfuls within 5 minutes before I had to make a run to Walmart to purchase a few things that didn’t include a stockpile of toilet paper. Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.” I excused the funny feeling in my stomach, as I was on a mission to replace a Keurig machine that broke from Walmart. Yes I said it, “WALMART.” As I parked my car, I felt my stomach growing more agitated by the minute making gurgling noises that struck me as unusual but I proceeded into the store as I really wanted a new coffee machine.. GOD HELP ME. I was literally in the middle of the store looking at small kitchen appliances before one loud gurgle after another and then I squeezed out a fart that began as a long squeak to a jet propulsion in a split-second that probably had some people in the store confuse the sound as a gunshot and probably had some of them ducking for cover. As my situation had just gone from a, on a 1-10 scale beginning with a 3, (I might need to use the bathroom at some point, I should make this trip quick.) to an instant 12 (I’m literally soiling myself in the middle of a Walmart with hand towels and shower towels as my only source of fabric to wipe my ass with) I said “F*** the Keurig” and I ditched my cart and went running all the way to the opposite end of the store to the bathroom while, what sounded and felt like, I had firecrackers exploding in my underwear, people were probably pointing at me while their kids are laughing and I finally made it to the bathroom to find one stall available.. The Hadicapped Stall. Upon entering the bathroom stall while simultaneously crying and pulling my pants down I jumped on the toilet seat not realizing it was literally covered in urine and as I began opening the flood gates, releasing the evil that moments prior had begun rearranging my insides, I realized after the fact that there was no seat paper and I then I began holding on for dear life while begging God to kill me, sounding off gunshots out of my ass that most likely had people running out of the store.. USE THIS PRODUCT AT YOUR OWN RISK AND ASK YOURSELF, “WAS IF WORTH IT?” If the answer is yes, you should seek a mental health professional. Read less"