WHAT ABOUT THE SHARK? IT'S STILL OUT THERE. AND IT'S FASTER NOW. SHARK? THE SHARK IS JUST A HOAX PERPETRATED BY MY POLITICAL ENEMIES. BECAUSE IT'S NOT REAL, WE'VE BANNED SHARK REPELLANT FROM BEING USED. AND ALL CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 12 MUST GO SWIMMING. IN FACT, ANYONE NOT OUT IN THE WATER FLAILING LIKE A WOUNDED SEAL IS A DAMN COMMUNIST.