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Pingucci chanting: Little baby man.

The baby appears to be female, but whatever.

Milk: Sup, mini child.

???: *baby noise*

Milk: Do you like to murder?

*another baby noise, possibly implying yes- it does sound like a rather happy noise*

Milk: Cool. So, how do I carry you? Since I am legitimately like 2 feet tall.

Well- the baby is 1 1/2 feet

Milk:*he picked her up* Oh jesus-

*hap*

Milk: *he stepped all the way over to his house* Why are babies so heavy?

*sticks tongue out adorably*

Milk: Your cuteness makes me want to murder somebody.

*murder inducing cuteness intensifies*

Milk: *he slowly pulled out a knife* Don't make me stab you.

*tries to grab the knife*

Milk: Fine, take it. I got a spare anyways. *he hands her the knife*

*puts the knife in her little overalls-front pocket*

Milk: Cool, you keep that.

*hap*

Milk: Well, I'm going to get me a cup of milk.

*continues to be cute*

Milk: *he chugged a glass of Milk the size of him*

*makes a grabbing motion with her hands, implying she also wants milk*

Milk: *he sighed, and gave her milk*

She drinks it

Milk: *he sighed* I'm gonna sleep now.

Cooper: hi little one

*baby gurgle*

Cooper: cute *picks them up*

She has little blue overalls on

Cooper: so do you have any parents

Not anywhere Cooper can see

Cooper: hmmm well your mine now

She seems to accept this fact

Cooper: do you want to get on my back

*climbs onto his back suprisingly quickly*

Cooper: damn your fast

*happy giggle*

Cooper: *ruffles her hair and walks8

:D

Cooper: so want to go to my house (what ring of hell is this)

(Wrath)

*baby gurgle *

Cooper: *walks into a house*

*holding onto his back*

Cooper: so what do you do for fun

She can’t really answer that, being a baby, but she rolls over

Cooper: *grabs a gun* want to go hunting

He blinks, and the baby has the gun

Cooper: woah how did you

*giggles and puts the gun in the front pocket of her overalls*

Cooper: ok then let’s go *opens the door*

*crawls up into his back again*

Cooper: so how does a someone lose a baby imp *walks and shoots random animals*

She doesn’t respond, but is rolling around along with shooting squirrels

Cooper: you need less then 1 brain cell to lose a baby imp like come on

(Moral of the story: don’t let Blitz(o) babysit XD)

*cute*

Cooper: *looks around* are they even looking for you *shoots a big animal*

There’s no way for them to tell

Cooper: ugh I’m bored

The small baby is surprisingly good with gun

Cooper: you would be a good assassin

The foreshadowing

Cooper: hmmmm I need to go to the pride ring if you want to come

:D

Copper: I’ll take that as a yes *picks her up and goes to the pride ring*

*hap*

Cooper: *walks into town*

Baby: *on his back

Cooper: so do you know anyone here

*cannot answer, for is baby*

Cooper: oh yeah your a baby *walks into a building*

(The I.M,P building)

*instant recognition *

Cooper: hey I need some assassins

(Who is he talking to. . .?

(I.M.P)

(Ah- can you be Blitz(o)?)

(Sure)
Blitzo: well you came to the right place then

Moxxie and Millie were out today- but he most certainly recognized the baby on Cooper’s back

Cooper: so I need *says the name of a person* dead

Blitzo: before all of that can you tell me where you got that baby

Cooper: that’s not important

Baby: *existing*

Blitzo: you don’t have to pay if you give me that child

Cooper: nope I think she wants to stay with me

Moxxie and Millie were gonna be PISSED if he didn’t get her back

Blitzo: come on please I’ll give you an extra assassin for free

Cooper: no I’m not giving you my child

Blitzo: SHES NOT YOURS

Loona: *busy not answering the phone

Cooper: just let me pay you

Blitzo: no give me the baby

*incoming call from Moxxie*

Blitzo: yes moxxie hello

Cooper: *playing with the baby*

Moxxie: “we’re coming back earlier than expected.”

Blitzo: you don’t need to tho

Moxxie: “we kind of do- Millie twisted her ankle, and now we can’t participate in the -insert competition that requires two people here-.:

Blitzo: oh ok then *looks at color like give me the baby*

Copper: no way

It really isn’t his baby

Cooper: can I pay you now

Blitzo: GIVE ME THE BABY

Melani starts crying

Cooper: hey what’s wrong *strokes her hair*

*does NOT like it when Blitzo yells*

Cooper: your scaring her

Blitzo: you kidnapped her!

“Weeeeh!”

Cooper: *hugs her*

Cooper*

“Weeeeeeeeeh!”

Cooper: look what you did

Blitzo: shit umm

M&M would be getting back soon

Cooper: *trying to comfort the baby*

She eventually calms down

Cooper: don’t worry I won’t let him get you

-sniffle-

Nonetheless, she tries to gets out of Cooper’s arms

Cooper: what’s wrong

M&M’s Car is pulling up outside

Cooper:….

Blitzo: I recommend you hand over the child

(Can you be either Millie or Moxxie-?

(Do you want me to just be every character)

(No! I just don’t want to be both-)

(Wait so who do you want me to be)

(Just pick either Moxxie or Millie, i don’t care which one

(Moxie)

(Two x’s, but kk)

Millie gets out of the car

Moxxie: Blitzo better if not killed our child

Millie: “at worst he lost her.”

Moxxie: yeah

Cooper: so can I pay you now

Blitzo: they are about to walk in just give me the child

Millie opens the door

Cooper: hello

Millie: “. . . What the f**k are you doing with my baby!?

Cooper: she’s mine

Millie: “is NOT!” She cocks a shot gun

Cooper: *licks the shotgun out of her hands* don’t even try that

Blitzo: f**k

Millie: “GIVE BACK MY BABY!!!”

She starts attacking Cooper

Cooper: *slams her into a wall* no way

Moxxie: uhhh

The baby starts crying- “m-maa-“

Cooper: *eyes glow red* if you lose a baby in the wrath ring you shouldn’t be allowed to have them

Moxxie: *grabs the baby*

Millie: “I TOLD you it was a bad idea to let Sally May watch her!”

Cooper: *slams her into a wall again*

Blitzo: *gets popcorn*

She’s starting to black out-
“M-melani. . .” She falls limp, out cold

Cooper: finally

Baby Melani cries louder

Cooper: …

“WEEEEEH!”

Moxxie: look what you did

Blitzo and Loona: *watching the show*

“WEEEH!

Moxxie: *hugs the baby*

She slowly calms down and falls asleep in his arms

Cooper: now give her to me it’s obvious you can’t take care of her

Moxxxie: what no way

Melani sleeps peacefully

Cooper: *holds a gun to moxxie’s head* hand her over

Moxxie: no

She hugs onto his arm

Cooper: *moves the gun to point to melani*

She remains asleep

Moxxie: *hands Cooper melani* don’t worry I’ll be back for you

Cooper: *walks away with her*

Melani: *asleep*

Cooper: *walks to his house*

-cute baby-

Cooper: *puts her on a bed and walks away*

-slep-

Cooper: *makes food*

*meanwhile*
Moxxie: Millie Please wake up

Blitzo: wow can’t believe you lost your baby

Millie: *wakes up*

Moxxie: hey Millie something happened

Blitzo: your dipshit husband gave away your child

Millie; “WHAT!?- ok- what EXACTLY happened?”

Moxxie: so this person beat you up and-

Blitzo: and he took your baby

Millie: -inhale- -calmly-: “Moxxie, i want you to get the biggest gun we own.”

Moxxie: are you sure about this

Millie: “we’re getting our go***amn baby back.

Blitzo: can I come to watch

“. . . Fine.”

Moxxie: ok let’s do this

she nods

*at coopers house*
Cooper: *making food for the baby*

Little does he know, she’s still young enough to only drink titty milk-

(Is she like only 1 day old*

(She’s like two months, but she’s M&M’s kid, so- she knows how to use weapons

(Ok then)
Cooper: ugh

*asleep*

Cooper: *grabs a bottle and fills it with baby formula*

*wakes up*

Cooper: *hands her the bottle*

-drinks milk-

Cooper: *sigh* your parents are going to try and kill me

Undoubtedly.

Cooper; I’m the mean time you can just do whatever

-is a baby-

Moxxie: Millie what if he does something to our baby

Millie: “oh, Satan- i don’t know. . .”

Moxxie: I don’t think he will

Millie: “I certainly hope not.”

*they arrive at coopers house*

Millie cocks her gun

Cooper: *feeding the baby the milk*

Melani: *drinking it*

Moxxie: *opens the door*

Millie: -standing by him- “give her back. NOW.”

Cooper: but she’s mine

Millie: “NO. SHE’S. NOT.”

(Memechat?

https://imgflip.com/memechat?invite=2kTULDoXoL-NgsekoXXktjqtc9b-pEi5

Cooper: you can’t take care of her