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Holy shit! We forgot to talk about the OTHER buff Englishman who was the vampire guy’s “brother”

WE DID-

Not Jonathan! Or Barely!

OH-

Yeah. THAT one. The one that everyone forgets about.

The one that is forced to be brothers with the crazy vampire.

Ah yes

Big Bri’ish man with weird “telepathic” power to predict what someone’s gonna say next

Ah yes

A Big Bri’ish man with weird “telepathic” power to predict what someone’s gonna say next who also happens to strip three Aztec strippers of their power. Oh yeah, and he cross-dresses too.

Yes

He also happens to be friends with a gay Italian bubble boi that will give you a swift kick in the pantalones

And then he has a child with an Italian WOMAN who happens to get married with a musician

And then the Big British man grows a beard and becomes really... thorny

And he teams up with his edgy Japanese grandson to fight this vampire who also happened to kill the British man's grandfather

And then he also introduces his grandson to an Arabic man who he met like..

..3 years ago? I think, I don’t remember.

And they also meet a frenchman with a bad haircut, his adorable dog, and some cherry-licking possessed teenager

And then most of them die

The end

Except the Bri’ish guy “lives”

And the frenchman and the edgy Japanese kid.

And also has weird purple vine thingies

Yeah. That's what I meant by saying "thorny" lmao. And then he has an illegitimate kid with a Japanese woman even though he says that he can never forgive them

*wheeze* YES-

and then he grows senile and raises dababy.

DaInvisableBaby

And there’s a goth guy with bells on his head going after him as well.

Ye. The one that wears the coronavirus hat?

Nah, the one that can actually stand up on his own two legs.

Oh. And don't forget the obese guy with the coronavirus hat though!

Ah yes

And now for something completely different. There's Johnny Johnny Yes Papa the crippled cowboy

Who was given a task by JeSUS to kill the president

And alongside him, there's PIZZA MOZZARELLA PIZZA MOZZARELLA. And then there's this one socially-awkward dinosaur named Go Diego Go!

And also Warm Lower Clothing Covering the Bottom Half of One’s body

And then there's trigger-happy Gappy, who I know nothing about lol

And then the Japanese kid visits the other kid that he Bri’ish man had in the summer of 1999

And then the Japanese kid adopts a midget

And fails to care for his biological daughter....

And then she turns 19 and gets arrested

Like father, like daughter, they say.

And then the daughter hangs out with Mexican Cleopatra and Plankton from Spongebob and they go on a magical quest to find Da Green Baby

And then there’s an evil Christian who praises the blonde vampire dude.

Mhm. DaPucci.

And I just realized we forgot to mention that he takes the midget kid to Italy.

And then the midget gets harassed by the son of the crazy vampire.

Who somehow resembles the possessed teenager with a green school outfit and a green ghost thing with some white and yellow

And then they get erased from existence by a crazy priest

And the son of the crazy vampire can control life itself.

Yes. He can turn everything into Pokémon

And then the son of the crazy vampire gets on a train and gets aggressively licked by a male milf.

THIS IS THE TASTE OF A LIAR

But eventually the crazy vampire’s son, Tube-Head as I like to call him, joins the mafia.

And then kills a bunch of people so he can get a better arrow and make some pink haired guy suffer.

And the pink-haired guy has split personality disorder.

Who somehow has a completely different appearance in the shadows

But really he's just this little sweetheart who thinks that everything is a freaking P H O N E

He becomes friends with an Orange, an infected Strawberry, a gun maniac who has a terrible taste of fashion, an egg man who drinks urine, the male milf, and whatever Trish is.

A loli.

"Hi I'm actual girl! I'm underage so plz don't frick me"- Trish Una 2020

Fact.