I love this

Le words of le wisdom

If you water water, it grows

the word short is longer than the word long

How do dragons blow out candles

They wouldn't be able to, cause they would technically turn the candle into ash .-.

Why is a building called a building if it’s already built?

if Pinocchio says that his nose grows every time he tells the truth, his nose would grow meaning everyone will think he's telling the truth

Why is birthday cake called birthday cake of birthday cake can be any flavor?

Do fish get thirsty?

When you come home after your dishwasher job and take a shower, you’re the last dish

If two mind-readers are reading each other's minds at the same time, whose mind are they reading?

"DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.

The founders of Adidas and Puma were not only brothers, but Nazis.

We talk about Ancient Romans like they were basically all the same, but the civilization lasted almost 1000 years. That's like saying people in 2016 and 1016 are basically the same.

You are more likely to be killed by an asteroid than to win the lottery.

When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future.

Breathing Mumbai's air for one day is the same as smoking 100 cigarettes in a day.

If the movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" took place in Australia, those kids would have died real f**king quick.

The moon gets 1.5 inches farther from the Earth every year.

My dog understand several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

On average, you will spend 92 days sitting on the toilet in your lifetime.

I recognize click bait almost every time, but still want to know what that child celebrity looks like today.

Laughing while being tickled is actually a panic response from your body.

If Google matched people up by their browsing history, it could be the greatest online dating website of all time.

Why is the slowest part of the day called rush hour?

Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor it'd be insulting.

The only time the word "incorrectly" isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

What if Earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole Galaxy knows we're here but they've agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.

If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969.

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?

Hearing your favorite song on the radio is better than hearing your favorite song on your phone

Of all the poop in the world, who decided bat shit was the craziest?

As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook.

What if when we die, "the light at the end of the tunnel" is just you being pushed out of another va**na?

Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.

pffffffffffffffffffffffft-

If*