Idk why I'm posting here tho.........................

buy a m61 20mm vulcan and shoot birds with it

I'm 11. I can't buy guns.

buy a longsword and throw it at some cats

I'm not killing cats.

kill some rats

I'm not going to kill anything.

did you get all that

shoot yourself in the leg with a PAINtball gun grab your cat yeet him out the window grab your dog pet him set him down default dance on your couch play arsenal without a mouse shoot a mouse just don't kill it then yeet the mouse and the muse falls onto your neighbor's forehead and he accidentally dials 911 with the rat so the police show up and then you chuck some wood out the window but there's a woodchuck in it so it jumps on a police car crashing it into a fire hydrant filled with fire so it spurts out fire everywhere exploding all the cars and there's an airplane above getting hit by a car and it's your mom's car so you grab a balloon to go get it and you float up on the airplane but it got hit by the car remember? so it explodes but you get caught by a stork and the stork gets yeeted by a rocket while you are still on it so you and the stork get yeeted all the way to washington dc and fall on the president and he hits the defcon 1 button and so the air force is deployed by accident and crash into each other violently (lucky there was no one in there) and the secretary of defense slips on a banana peel and presses the "nuke" button sending a nuke into the ocean and all the fish get yeeted everywhere and a fish gets yeeted so far it lands in china but the fish was sick so it made china sick and someone coughed on the "china nuke" button and so china nuked russia and russia nuked pakistan and iran stole a nuke from russia so it nuked russia and america nuked egypt and the cat you yeeted earlier lands all the way in israel landing on the "israel nuke" button and it shoots a nuke up into the ozone layer destroying it and destroying the earth's magnetic field and so the moon is yeeted into mars which explodes but there are aliens hiding in it that hit the "alien nuke" button and so the planets trigger a chain reaction and blow each other up and it looks wonderfully scrumptiously delicious- i mean wonderfully awesome and oh yeah remember when i said that "the ozone layer is gone"? well yeah now the sun is a deadly lazer and so global warming speeds up and now the communist penguins are all pissed so we go to war with the communist penguins who allied with russia and they nuke each other.

Yes. But I'm not causing Chaos.

"chaos" is an understatement

disorder, confusion, turmoil, bedlam, pandemonium, lawlessness, chasm, anarchy, shambles, uproar.

oh yeah and the disturbance in the magnetic fields of all the planets triggered the sun to explode and then a gamma ray hit the exploding sun and the gamma ray yeeted a space penguin across the universe and it hit the border of the universe which warped spacetime as he was somehow outside the bounds of reality so the universe imploded.

You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in Christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbor found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, balloons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feat.

To whom it may concern,

My arrival may be complicated because I currently reside in a six foot thick steel fallout shelter due to the fact that angry communist penguins have nuked my house and turned it into a gulag. The gulag consists of capitalist penguins, a monkey named George, a nuke stolen from Iran stolen from Russia that they tried to nuke Russia but someone got sick from a Chinese fish and so they gave it to the communist penguins because they went stupid AND Nancy Pelosi and Wall-E and a group of high school girls caught by a group of penguins by the name of KKK. Or was it AAA? Im not entirely sure. The girls were caught doing cringy tiktok dances so they were henceforth sentenced to gulag. Oh and also a mars person doing default dances on a nuke.

To make matters worse, The gods SHREK and MORSHU are in a mighty battle that has extended from the heavens to this world below. Morshu was caught selling in Shrek's swamp, and Shrek wanted to buy a bomb to bomb a nuke to nuke Pakistan but he didn't have enough rupees. This caused a battle of outrage, power, and fury that shook God's chair and he looked down from the heavens and exclaimed, "What the bleep?" (he really said bleep because he's better than that you know) and he shouted at Noah to get something. It could not be heard beyond the epic battle of the unstoppable force and the immovable object but then the earth stopped. Everything was quiet. Morshu stopped. Morshu spoke.

"There's some beautiful rope outside..
Lamps are squeaking, bombs are booming,
On days like these,
Ogres like you....

Should come back when you're a little, mmm, richer!"

It was at that moment I realized I was witnessing a righteous battle. I could not interfere. The earth split its foundations from this mighty outburst of power. The mighty Shrek of the Universe against Morshu from the City of Rupees. Lights flashed. Bombs boomed. Fists swung. Rope wrapped around Shrek's foot and Morshu began slamming him all over the hit box or something but then Shrek SLAMMED Morshu and yelled a cry of a forgotten language but then.. Morshu's rope caught flame. He was now twice as deadly. This battle was unfortunately so great my eyes were not worthy to witness it and I simply was blinded. This is where the documentation of that ends.

There are even more complications but I do not have much time because the communist penguins have found me. Deepest regret

No, they don't.

Have you ever been to Mexico? Some places there are nice but on the whole, it's a very depressing and dismal place to be. I can't imagine living there for more than a day or two at most, and nowhere but a hotel in that circumstance.

I have been to "the streets" several times, though, and know a fair bit about the goings-on of the major players there - even joined one of the local gangs (just for show, I didn't want any cuts or anything, it was purely symbolic) - and I have never once heard the term "Mexican handshake" used. Maybe you're just familiar with a more run-down or worse neighborhood than I am, but I'm pretty confident of my knowledge in these things (I tend to have more casual knowledge than most people just as a result of my relatively wide range of places I've traveled to and the cultures I've experienced)

So yeah, I think all of us would appreciate if, both for accuracy and for integrity, you didn't just try to make up slang words to sound cool for people on the internet, and only speak from the experience you actually have, as I try to do. Other than that, I hope you have a great day, and hope that no one asks your opinion on a subject in which you lack expertise, for I fear that there will be a situation later where your insufficiently truthful information will likely malign their ability to know as much accurate information as possible, and may therefore worsen decision making.

Edit: I seem to be getting brigaded by several hundred alt accounts of u/Johnnadawearsglasses simply because I called him out for his lack of real world knowledge. Instead of actually learning, he chooses to hide my actual experience and factual information. To everyone: please stop downshaking me. It only serves to silence me further, hiding valuable information about the state of cultural life in Mexico, and allowing misinformation to be spread. This is antithetical to all principles I hold sacred, and it must cease immediately. Thank you.

HMMMMMM