Do you ever feel so tired that you wish that life ended? Nothing is ever going to change, the world is too cruel. Outside of the internet, it's socially frowned upon that I cry out my feelings. It makes me `` an attention seeking baby ``, especially since I'm an adolescent. I feel as though nothing in life will ever make me smile again. Heck, even when I DO smile - it's only for a very small moment. I feel completely empty- though avoiding self harm. I instead let my dog bite and scratch my arms in order to vent out (of course, not abusing him). I can't seem to run away from what's killing me inside. It's my past troubles and mistakes that are tagging along me even now. I'm socially unable to make a conversation last, for I'm quite dry. My online friends who've I known for 3+ years are now so distant that we barely even remember each others names. I don't have real life friends. School right now is too mediocre for me to enjoy, while my old schools had hated me for my false confidence and my skin color. I've had students of my age threaten to kill me, and some actually attempting to do so. My parents do say that they love me, but I always feel emotionally abused, even if I was never physically abused. I felt so worthless in life that I felt as if death wouldn't even accept someone as pitiful as me. To the point where my birth was only coincidentally a mistake. Arguments with family ensued today. It's to the point where I can no longer bottle up emotions. It's so hard to keep it in. And I know people in the comments probably have been through SO much worse, so why is my vent ever so important? I don't know, even. I'm only deciding if death will ever accept me OR not.
