'Twas the night before
Christmas in 2020; When all through the house,
nobody was stirring,
not even my spouse; The facemasks were hung by the chimney with care,
With hopes that Netflix would soon be back on the air; The children were all
asleep in their room,
Worn out from class
on a thing called zoom; When out of my belly
arose such a rumble,
I sprang to my feet,
and I knew I was in trouble; Away to the toilet
I flew like a flash,
'Twas barely sat down
when I caused a big splash; When what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
No TP was to be had,
It was all gone because of the COVID fear; I spoke not a word
and went straight to work,
I found an old sock,
but it hurt from the dirt; My wipes were rapid
and my curses they came
My offering to all hoarders
was every bad name; After the finish of such a gross task,
I used salve to make things alright
To which I exclaimed these words,
A wish that rang through the night:; No smelly Christmas to all,
and to all
a soft wipe!
