CHORUS: Space dust!
NARRATOR: ...which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into-
CHORUS: Even crazier space dust!
NARRATOR: ...so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things, like this ball of flaming rocks for example.
NARRATOR: Holy shit! We just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kind of made a mess, which is-
CHORUS: Now the Moon!
The year is now -4,000,000,000.
NARRATOR: Weather update, it's raining rocks from outer space.
NARRATOR: Weather update, those rocks might have had water inside them, and now, there's hot steam in the sky.
NARRATOR: Weather update, cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.
NARRATOR: Weather update, it's raining.
NARRATOR: Severe flooding alert! The entire world is now an ocean.
NARRATOR: Volcano alert!
CHORUS: That's land!
OCEAN: (Mumbles) There's life in the ocean.
NARRATOR: What?
CHORUS: Something's alive in the ocean.
IMMATERIAL OBSERVER (IO): Oh, cool. Like, a plant or an animal?
The camera zooms in on a single-cell organism.
NARRATOR: No, a microscopic speck. It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
The cell divides.
NARRATOR: Oh, yeah, and it can do that.
Those cells divide many more times.
NARRATOR: It has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. So that's pretty nifty, I would say.
NARRATOR: Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
CHORUS: Now you can eat sunlight!
The year is now -3,000,000,000.
NARRATOR: Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
CHORUS: Taste the sun!
The year is now -2,300,000,000.
NARRATOR: Side effect, now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while. Maybe even a couple of times.
The year is now -500,000,000.
NARRATOR: It's a sponge. It's a plant. It's a worm, and some other types of weird, strange water bugs and strange fish.
CHORUS: It's the Cambrian explosion!
IO: Wow, that's animals and stuff.
SEA LIFE: But we're still in the ocean. Hey, can we go on land?
CHORUS, as LAND: No!
SEA LIFE: Why?
CHORUS, as LAND: The sun is a deadly lazer!
SEA LIFE: Oh, okay.
CHORUS: Not anymore, there's a blanket.
NARRATOR: Now the animals can go on land.