I have went through some of the stuff you went through, I have lost loved ones recently. My cat, he was a part of me, we had telepthy. When he died at night, I felt it. I still feel it this very day, that was a couple months ago.
My dad and his wife mocked me, and said terrible things to me. My stepmom said it was my fault that my parents divorced and all that. My dad says it was always my fault. And so much more. That people ask me, how I did it, and how Im not dead yet.
Trust me, if I can pull through, you can too.