Not being a troll. (Just in case) I don't think people think about it until they have to.

Been there actually, it's tough and I'm not gonna lie. So instead of thinking about how it would be, I'll share how it was. We first sought help after a few months of trying to conceive, and it was determined that my wife had some issues that would make things pretty tough. I never even considered that I too would have issues, but on recommendation from the doctor I went and got checked as well. Got a bombshell that I too had significant obstacles in place in order to conceive naturally. So, after trying for months with different treatments and hormone replacements and supplements, we were told that our options were either invitro fertilization or adoption. We were called to adopt, and that's exactly what we did. This is a very short version, but the experience was fraught with extremes of every emotion known to man. Anyone who has to navigate through that experience has both my sympathy as well as my support. Talking through that stuff is terribly difficult, so I'm always willing to help others find their way if I can.

Thank you for sharing. This is why I posted this. My wife and I are a few months into the process. We are going the invitro route first though. If that doesn't work we'll see what other options we have. I had a fairly simple procedure done to potentially improve my end, but it didn't work.

I thank you again for being open.

No problem, I enjoy sharing our story as its filled with lots of joy and blessings, and in hind sight I know we did exactly what we were meant to do! You and your wife are in my prayers for wisdom, peace and discernment as you work through your journey. If you want to talk about it let me know, I'm happy to be there for you if you need a veteran that's been there before. Infertility sucks, but it doesn't define you. Hang in there bud.

I appreciate it.

My wife and I are pretty good communicators, so I think we do ok, just taking it one step at a time.

I posted this so people didn't feel alone. It can be tough, but it's much more common than people think. I'm glad the decision worked out for you.

It's very common. Much more than people realize. It's good that you and your wife are good communicators as that is essential during trials like this. It's tough when the most intimate part of your marriage is invaded by lab coats and routine procedures that rob you of that intimacy, stay close to each other during this time and look forward to better times, they will be just over the horizon!

Thank you.

:)

I would be pretty disappointed honestly. I'm pretty young so I won't have to deal with that for a long while, but recently I've been thinking more about how I would raise my kids and what I could teach them so that they could be better than I am. I know I could teach them how to be better than I am.

I would look to adoption though. They wouldn't be my genes but I could sure do my best to raise them right.

Adoption is a beautiful (but very messy) experience! I highly recommend it to anyone open to the idea, and ask all that aren't open to it to at least consider it. Tons of kids out there need homes, and parents looking for children need only look in their own communities to find them. It's not easy, but very rewarding! You are noble to be accepting of the idea!

Thanks! I know a family from church who's in the process. They have been for a couple years actually, so I know a little bit about what kind of effort has to go into it. They have kids of their own as well.
Even if I ended up having children of my own I still might be open to the idea depending on the circumstances.

Just curious, how old were your children when you adopted them?

We adopted our daughter from birth, brought her home from the hospital actually, so we've had her from the start. It's been great, and an adventure all the way! We waited for nearly a year before being placed, and that was fast for adoption as I have learned so I hope your friends at church are able to get connected soon, its definitely a trial in patience.

I think if I could pick I'd definitely prefer from birth. It just seems like it'd be easier to raise them as my own. We'll see what life has in store I guess.

Yeah, about 2 years in they had two boys a little under 10 come live with them for awhile. Unfortunately it wasn't able to work out, but I think they're still looking.

Your passion is catching. I try not to think about it yet, that is not to say I'm not open to it though - my wife would need some time to work out her feelings on the option though. It is certainly true that plenty of kids need a good loving home... I see it in class sometimes if nowhere else. I applaud you and your partner that decision

I wouldn't care because I never wanted kids

being gray-a ace I just don't care about sex

I would be a little sad maybe but I'm (when im older) planning to adopt a kid or not adopt kids at all and just have some animals. So it wouldn't be at least for me devastating news. My mom really wants grand kids tho so she would probrably be really sad