Man of the house

When Chuck Norris was an astronaut - his ship got pulled into a black hole. Chuck Norris space walked up to the black hole & stared it down. The black hole let him go.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the earth & roundhouse himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris has never done a single Push-Up. That's because he pushes the Earth down.

Chuck Norris once spat into the wind & tugged on Superman's Cape at the same time. Superman caught the spit with his hand.

Chuck Norris once got so mad he stomped the ground. Weeks later tourists showed up to the newly opened Grand Canyon.

Chuck Norris once flexed in a mirror. That was the last time he ever saw his reflection.

Goku wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

It's been said that Chuck Norris is immortal. That's not entirely true - Death isn't stupid enough to come for Chuck Norris.