Irving Kristol’s quip (top panel) is patronizing, and so is mine, but one good sarcastic turn of phrase deserves another.

Personal anecdote: I actually have had the life experience of being mugged. By black people, no less!

When I was younger, my little brother was almost kidnapped outside a McDonald’s in downtown Atlanta. By a black perpetrator as well.

My little brother made it out okay thanks to situational awareness and tactful maneuvering by my father whom I was with. When I was mugged, I lost only $100 which is easily replaced. (Side-note: neither tense situation required brandishing a firearm to escape, and I think doing so would have more likely escalated the situation to the point of violence.)

I am fortunate that these experiences did not leave me with any lasting trauma or resentfulness toward either poor or black people.

Instead, I am more committed to improving conditions for society’s less-fortunate so that they will be less drawn to a life of crime, and so fewer people will have to be victimized by crime as I have been.

Bitter? Not me
Fearful? Oh please
Self-regarding? I mean, I guess, but also others-regarding
I can't think of anything that's happened to me that would turn me into that either.
No, I think a conservative is a liberal with the ability to think

I consider you one of the good ones: An upbeat, patriotic conservative who is generally respectful toward others.

I disagree with you on some things of course but your orientation is a positive one.

Unfortunately, I’ve encountered many other conservatives who are the opposite, and I have seen that tendency escalate under Trump with the example he sets of brash combativeness toward real and perceived enemies.

I used to be a conservative/libertarian myself, but I gradually outgrew that as I grew older and more personally and financially secure. Nowadays I’m more concerned about what I can do to lift others up to a place where they can be secure as well.

All things that inspired my satire of Irving Kristol’s quip.

Then life others up. Welfare just continues the cycle of poverty, abortion does NOT lift others up to put it simply and it encourages self-destructive activity, riots certainly aren't helping anyone.

If you really want to life others up, you should help at-risk people (in person), specifically young people! There are organizations that do that. Help them recognize that they don't have to continue the cycle of crime and poverty and that they can make a life for themselves. They don't have to end up in prison before they're 30. Just don't try and force other people to pay for programs like welfare and planned parenthood that do not help the situation.