STORYTIME CAMPFIRE Y"ALL, S'MORES ALL AROUND

Ok let's get a few things straight, my parents didn't know about this until I told them about it, My grandma and grandpa on my Mom's side are catholic to the max and well they had a suspicion that i was gay, I WAS 12!!! So anyway I go to visit them and they tell me about this cool summer camp that I am going to and I trusted them so I didn't think anything was wrong. Some of my experiences are really scary and terrify grown up and if I could go back in time, I would show up to that hell hole and hug younger me every night and tell him he was ok. At one point they used a really cheap trick involving one of my brothers, he killed himself when we were 10, he was bullied to the point to where he would cry at night and not eat and well after he did it I wasn't in a good place mentally ( And sometimes it'll sneak up on me and I will just cry and do mindless things like fold clothes and do dishes) Welp here is three of my many stories, the first is funny, the second was one of the warnings I got from other kids and the last is the cheap trick they used.

Story 1: I was getting pretty fed up with this one counselor. He was a 30 year old guy, really tall to my 5'5 self at he time and he wasn't fat or skinny, he worked out and he acted like a king and I'm pretty sure he was one of the head counselors and well he was always up in my business, always asking really personal questions about my life and to be honest I was about to fight this 6'4 dude with the confidence of a UFC fighter but before I got my chance, my squad and I (Nikki, Jase and Devon, really cool people and I still hang out with them a lot) we informed that we were going to the lake and we hatched the (at the time) scheme of a life time, I was going to pretend to drown (Stupid I know but hey I was 12) well we get to the lake read the famous story of how Jesus walked on water and then they let us swim and the plan started. I swam out with Jase and well I went under and after a minute or two one of the counselors drug me out and did CPR ( Never forget that, omg...) and I cough up and I looked at the tall dude and said, In my most monotone voice " He doesn't accept you." and "Passed out" Yeah... the nurse snitched on me and well we got stuck cleaning the cabins for a week.

(Continued in the replies, sorry y'all)

Story 2: This was my third day, when I started to realize something was up and well I was talking to a kid about basketball and well this younger looking dude came up to us with a worried expression (He looked about 16) and sat with us talking and he looked me in eyes, I remember his eyes a lot, they were so worried and selfless with a hint of anger, not us though, he said " You don't want to stay here and do not trust them, ok?" I just shook my head yes and he smiled and got up and walked off. He ended up being like a dad to us and I got a lot of my qualities from this boy called RJ and from what I know he is a cat and lizard dad.
Story 3: This one is kinda dark ngl so if are sensitive with topics like bullying, suicide and mental and emotional abuse, I'd skip this one, Bud. I'll give y'all a second to strap in, Strapped in?
My brother, Hiromitsu was my twin, we were identical and we were each others best friend but when we hit the age of 7 he slowly started to be "different " which upset some of our family cause " twins are pretty much the same" and he liked birds, flowers and bugs and I was video games, anime and baseball. when we were 9, the bullying got really bad and he became distant from me and one day we got into a fight and he blamed me for it all and said he wished one of us didn't exist. when our 10th birthday rolled around he was faded, a wiped away painting and he was just miserable. One day he was sick and he stayed home and everyone had work or school so we let him stay alone and he wrote us a letter and stabbed himself 3 times, he was dead by the 2nd stab, in the throat and next to the heart. It was gruesome to see him dead and covered in blood. My grandparents had told them about this and well after some trouble-making they took me to a room and sat me down and started reading about how people who kill themselves can't be in heaven cause they took a life and that i need ed to pray to help my brother so god would let him in and well I went ballistic and started crying and throwing myself on the ground praying and screaming " Please let Mitsu in, please!" and they started laughing at me, full on laughter and then they took me to a different room, pretty much a closet and let me in it " To pray Hiromitsu into heaven" I stayed in there crying for hours and just alone with my thoughts in total darkness and all I could hear was muffled noises and my own cries, that was hell, then it started to get cold and I was hungry (3rd reply, sorry)

So what did I do? Started tapping on the door and well after 30 more minutes the only caring one, Mrs. Hathtilo, let me out and she didn't know what was going on and she just hugged me and got me some food and sent me off to bed, I didn't sleep and had nightmare of my brother screaming for me trying to claw his way to me and then this thing would drag him by his stab wound along the ground into the darkness, I can still hear what he was screaming "Kono jigoku kara watashi o tasuketekudasai" which means " Please help me out of this hell" In the dream, I would try to reach him but he would just be out of reach then shadows would rip me away and stab me in the same places as my brother and I wouldn't even scream and I just watch him fade into the darkness with the most heart breaking eyes burning into me.
I am now 23 and I still have that dream, It jerks me up and makes me scream and cry till I get sleepy enough to go back to bed. Once in a while I will feel him around me, once I tried to talk to him even though it sounds silly, I'll say "Hello Mitsu"or" How are you?" and I never get an answer. He is my guardian angel and he now has Mom up there with him. I wonder what he'd look like now? Is he proud? I hope he is proud of me I think I've done good but I know he knows I would do better with him he to where I could call him up and ask him questions. I am a firm believer in that people can pass between our world and the spiritual world. Sometimes I think he checks in on me and stays for a while and I have come home to find my stuff moved around and once the stuff to make a blanket fort would be in the floor, I don't think he means any harm to me or Caleb. One day, I will see him again, even if it's on my way being jerked down to hell, our eyes will met and we will be so happy.
I found out who was bullying him after he was gone and well let's just say, their noses will never be the same and they were told some things that no one can ever forget and I hope it still is heavy on their minds "that little boy were bullied stabbed himself to death because of what we said to him and about him"

Well, f***. Listen: It wasn't your fault, you didn't start the fire. Life's a b****. You do what you can, but sometimes things are beyond your control. Sir, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you went through, the trauma of losing someone like this. I am deeply, deeply sorry. For what it's worth, you have my empathy, and I hope that helps you come to terms with everything.

Religion was used against you as a weapon, and yet you found peace from it. For that I salute you, even if I am an atheist. But that doesn't matter. I hope you are able to heal.

I just have pity for them, half or the time they follow blindly and then think they are in the right and feel excused from punishment or ridicule based on it, and it doesnt help i am a very loving person (Tops to goodie gramp and gram!) I just hope I was the only one given the closet treatment, it was down right cruel. And well My good grandma always said " Peace comes naturally, you just have to let it into your heart." and I believe in that myself. I still wonder if they regretted it or not. I still shutter at the mention of the bibles take on suicide.

The kids that bullied Hiromitsu are now druggies, spouse and child beaters and a couple of them have been to jail, Only one turned out ok but he died in the military. Every year on mine and his birthday, without fail, I ride up to mine and Mitsu's mountain creek hangout, we had a clubhouse up there and everything, we went up there every year and It is in Tennessee at my uncles house, deep in the woods. I grab a picture of him and a candle and his favorite butterfly book, and I sit down beside the creek and tell him about my year and ask if his has gone good ( I never get an answer, I would freak out if I did) I read a couple pages of the book and when it gets dark I light the candle and sing happy birthday. I have only brought Caleb up there, other than that, No one goes up there. I think it helps me cope and lets me know that he isn't really gone as long as he is remembered.

My Dad used to tell us "When you leave this world, you are remembered by all who loved you and your wings have more feathers the truer their love was and when they come to you, you fly together. They stay there for a while so they don't have to pass on alone." and we'd ask who would be waiting on us and he would just smile and say "The people who love you."

"...ok-looking..."

What exactly is your definition of "ok-looking"?

well he kinda has a weird hair cut and kinda looks like a drug dealer or that typical drunk at a bar

Ah...

Yeah leave him to the Christian lady

What is a conversion camp?

Its a shitty place that I pray as few people as possible go to.

Oh you sweet innocence child... It is were people send their children or the people whom they are taking care of for that time( that last bit is my case) to "fix" them or more so their sexuality. Yeah half the time it doesn't work or it "works" and you just get rebellious children who have nothing but hate in their hearts for they were not accepted. It does nothing but breed sadness and angry