Ok deer (not sure if I shared this already)

When I was 18 (55 now), I was sitting in a liqueur store in a hilltown that a friend of mine ran. This old farmer looking guy comes in already drunk, but wants to buy some more booze. OF course my friend refuses because of his state and instead of giving up, he began to tell how important he was. AN apartment in the Kremlin, got his art collection into China during Mao's reign and a bunch of other stories we snickered at.

Later we found out it had been Armand Hammer, the richest man in the world at the time and all of his stories were true. He was staying in this tiny little town in the hills because of the lack of light pollution and he was an avid star gazer too.

Wow, I could see why you wouldn't have believed his stories. You must have had a good laugh at yourselves when you found out. Although nothing worse than someone giving you the equivalent of the 'Do you know who I am?' speech.

I actually remember you telling us the story in another meme many moons ago

I figure I did. My wife says I have repeated all of my stories a thousand times, but then again we’ve been together for a quarter century.

Good to here from you

We have commented many times on here so bound to happen. Congratulations on 25

Hear

When I was a toddles (3-4 years), my family and I were on a vacation. They rented a hotel room (or they got an apartment from a cousin, can't remember). Anyways, in the room was a barrel filled with St. John's Wort oil. My mother was holding me in her arms (I was a very rebellious kid, so she didn't want me to stroll around). Her phone rang, and since she couldn't hold me and the phone at the same time, she left me on the lid of the said barrel. The lid broke and I fell into the batter. I was soaked with St. John's Wort oil.

As a result, I never got a sunburn, no matter how much I sunbathed. A friend of mine compared me to Obelix, because he was dipped into the magic potion.

One time, I feel asleep in the bus for so long. And then when I finally woke up, I almost ended up in the bus garage (located at my Middle school, where all of the local school buses go). When my bus driver noticed that I woke up, he had to drive back to the High school to drop me off. I apologized to the bus driver, but of course my bus driver was cool about it because it happens sometimes (that was my 1st time oversleeping in my bus). By the time I finally got to High school (I wasn't late), I had to explain to my friends what happened. Thinking back at "my true sleeping in my bus" story that happened 2 months ago, I not sure if it's funny or I was just being clumsy.

Once when I was like a toddler my mom started tickling me and she forgot she was driving and hit a stop sign.

Once I ran into Suzy Chaffee at Heavenly in South Lake Tahoe, we skied several runs together. I got her autograph on a Heavenly bumper sticker at the end of that day.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzy_Chaffee

She was ballet skiing most of the time we skied together, like in this picture. Fun to watch and see the reactions from other skiers.

Suzy was very interested in buying a pair of Scott Super Light ski boots I have, even though they probably wouldnt have fit her. Those boots are from the late 1970's, a hard to find cult classic among ballet skiers, Suzy was hoping to get them for trading purposes.

Nice

I dated a Japanese midget. It was super weird, she had a fetish that I couldn't handle.....she always wanted to sit on my lap and feed me like a baby.....so weird.

Could be worse things

Lol, that is indeed 'weird'

My mom once gave me money to buy her coffee and said that with whatever money I had left I could buy anything else.
I bought a whole pound of donuts.
True story and no regrets.
Then the cashier said I had exactly one penny in change and she specifically told me not to give it to my mom and keep it myself.
Best f**king day ever.
A pound of donuts and a penny.

1914 lol?

I thought it was 2020.
Well, that was a while back, but certainly not 1914.

A pound for a penny must be some years ago :)

Well, I had to buy my mom's coffee and used the left over money to buy a pound of donuts.
Then I had a penny in change.
So, yea.

I see said the blind man.

Ironic.

Hell yea it is.

Aww, that’s cute...

Fine, fine...
Wanna hear a funky story?

I'm all ears...

The man said “ One day in school the teacher asks little Johnny,
"If there were five birds on the tree and you shoot two birds with your gun then how many would be left?"
"None because they would all fly away.", replies little Johnny.
"That is incorrect.", says the teacher, "there would be three left, but I like the way you think."

Then little Johnny asks the teacher,
"If there were three women on the bench with an ice cream cone, one bitting on the cone, the other sucking the cone, and the last one licking her cone, which one is married?"
"The one sucking on the cone," guessed the teacher.
"That is incorrect," replies little Johnny," The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married, but I like the way you think." funny? Don’t ya think?” I chuckled a bit and said “pretty good! Hit me next time with some more!”

This is true story Tuesday not trashy joke Tuesday

Good intentions...

Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am

Alright...

So-
I was penny boarding and saw someone say “hey, wanna head a joke?” I said “I’m in”

I'm all ears...

Also, your a female?

Last time I checked I was ;)

I...am...terribly...sorry...
I thought your a male...

Thank you.

When I was a baby, I was crawling around the house. As a baby, I tasted everything in my way. I don't actually remember this, but my mom told me. I ate rat poison. The stuff to kill rats. I didn't go to the hospital, cuz my dads a doctor, so since the poison lowered some vitamin, spinach is supposed to restore that. So my mom remembers stuffing spinach into me in the Walmart parking lot.
I have many stories, but thats my favorite. If you ask, I could tell more tho

I once worked on a movie called Grey owl. I worked a lot with Roger Pratt the director of photography. The director of the movie was Sir Richard Attenborough. As we were shooting a scene I was standing behind sir Richard Attenborough watching in the TV screen, the scene was where Pierce Bronson hast to walk over a trail and then it opens up to a top of a mountain view. They kept doing the shot over and over again and I noticed that the leafs were getting squished into the mud were he kept stepping on them, I said that’s not good openly, Sir Richard Attenborough turned around and looked at me and said what do you mean? I said nothing sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you, he said no no tell me what you see. So I told him that if this is the first time Pierce Bronson‘s character is supposed to be walking on this trail but all the leaves are squished into the mud with foot prints, he shook his head yes and went out to the crew started pointing fingers and giving orders and the crew did some raking picked up please spread it all over the path. Sir Richard Attenborough came back to me and told me “When you see this scene in the movie you can tell your friends it’s yours.” When Roger Pratt got back to England he sent me a T-shirt from 12 monkeys that Bruce Willis had given him.

That’s a pretty cool story/memory!!!