A SHIFTY-LOOKING GUY IN A KILT WALKS INTO A LONDON PUB. HE ORDERS A PINT AND VERY GENTLY SETS DOWN A PLASTIC BAG. THE BARTENDER ASKS "WHAT'S THAT THERE?"
THE GUY ANSWERS, "FIVE POUNDS OF EXPLOSIVES."; "OH, THANK CHRIST," SAYS THE BARMAN. "I WAS AFRAID IT MIGHT BE BAGPIPES."