I made a similar meme about a week after joining the flip, my wife and I had just gone thru a failed adoption.

Adoption is a close subject for me, you are right

Please do, I'd welcome the commentary. And if you like, follow my adoption stream, Kate came up with the idea for it and asked me to create it since she didnt have room for another stream :)

Thparky I will be more than happy to comment regarding this subject, sincerely!

My meme was the orphan kid doing the adults/birth family a favor tho like you pointed out! lol

Classic flip confusion :) idk how much help i would be, I follow you anyway so will drop a comment;)

Lol dude, I completely missed the hint there! I'm a little distracted right now, forgive me :)

What if the best interest of the child is keeping the family together? At least at times when it is a question of keeping siblings together I think every effort should be made to do so. For an older child at least it's traumatic enough to lose ones parents. Losing your siblings as well could really be damaging but I understand how it could be difficult to adopt several at once. I think it makes the whole transition a little easier for the child if someone he is familiar with is going through it with him. At least that's my humble experience having been adopted with my brother. I don't know how I could have moved to a strange country not speaking the language without him by my side after being in the orphanage together.

Your first 8 words say it all. My point is, the best interest of the child should always be paramount, and if that can be accomplished by keeping the family together then it's a win win. I dont advocate for breaking up families, especially sibling groups but when the child has nothing but a caustic environment to look forward to, as opposed to a good home...that's where the system breaks down too often. Maybe it doesnt happen as often as I think, but I've seen it twice now. Once personally, and again with a very dear friend of mine.

Agreed. Ultimately it's up to the birth parents and if it's not a good environment and they refuse to let their child live a better life elsewhere that is truly heartbreaking. And yes the system is very broken as are most systems in our country.

Our daughter's baby brother is 9 months old now, and in foster care and we have no idea where he is, and he could be with his sister and us. All because of a set of circumstances that the state said was best, and we said was not, and guess who was right? We were, and then the plan fell apart for his welfare and the system got him instead of bringing him home to our family and be with his sister. Sorry, I'm still bitter and accusatory and that doesnt make my case as solid as it could be. But we have been able to save one life through adoption so we have managed that at least, and we hope to save another someday :), it's just hard to move past this hardship.

I'm sorry. Hugs. That is so hard. I guess the best you can do is entrust them to God. Ultimately everyone is in his hands anyway. We just do our best. Keep praying. Who knows by some miracle the little boy can be adopted by another loving family if not your own.

That must be one of the most disappointing things for a hopeful parent. I've experienced it on the other end. I think at least 3 families tried to adopt me but thought something was wrong with me for not talking so they brought me back. If they could see me now, lol.

I wish I really could give you a hug right now, that breaks my heart to hear... but like you say, look at you now! True testament to how impactful a good adoptive family can be and that does make my heart smile. And thank you, it wasn't easy and we're still sort of grieving from it.

I'll admit I don't often think about things from your perspective, but what an awful thing to go through. I'm sorry you experienced that.

Glad things eventually worked out for you & your wife. (and the child you adopted)

Thanks bud :)

My current job is working with kids who have had the worst possible “parenting” and their parents should be hung and tortured for what they did to their own children and I am talking sex trafficking, etc.

That's awful. You have an opportunity to be a real blessing though and that's awesome :)

I really hope so:)

A few weeks ago, we accepted placement of a two year old and before the phone call even ended they had found placement for her sibling group. We were not able to welcome her to our home. TBH my wife and I both shed tears of sadness and joy all at the same time. Last week we accepted placement of a new born. That night while we were getting his crib built, we got a call back and learned that he was able to be placed with his sibling group and another was able to welcome all of his siblings. Again there were tears filled with mixed emotions, but we ultimately agreed that it was best for the kiddos in both cases.

Wow that's amazing. Are you and your wife looking to fully adopt or just foster? I'll pray for your continued efforts as you wait for the right child, that part is excruciating I know.

And welcome to the adoption stream :)

Thanks very much! Looking to adopt, but only a child who is currently within the foster care system. Foster care in our area is rife with problems and abuses, so many agencies will place a child with a foster care family who wishes to adopt as soon as the biological parent’s rights are revoked. No guarantees on any placement leading to adoption, but our agency only calls with kiddos who they expect will become part of our family long term.

What state do you live in? Many are more restrictive on the process than others, for instance in SC where I am as soon as the birthmother signs over rights it's a done deal. But in Texas, the birth family can go backsies up to nine months after placement. Every state is different. DSS and the foster care system are both very broken and bureaucratic, and add a lot of complication that is hard to deal with. Feel free to post any adoption related memes or issues in this stream anytime, Kate and I will be glad to help you any time you need.

We are in MI. Foster care got so bad a while back that the Federal government had to take over and implement reforms. I’ve been told it is much better, but I have little frame of reference... we have only been licensed for a few months. I hear you on the bureaucracy, the state if MI partners with private agencies and things get messy. I appreciate the support. I’ll try to return the same kindness.

3 kids. son adopted from utah, 2 girls adopted from same Birth mother in Texas. they have several birth-sibs including another sister placed with friends of ours who live a couple of hours away from us.
No failed adoptions, but a couple experiences where we got right up to the moment of choice and found out we weren't chosen. But I'd take a few more of those over a failed adoption any day. Hope it wasn't after placement, those are the worst.

Thanks for your sentiments, and good to know there is another fellow adoption member on the flip :)

No, it didn't take place after placement. In SC, once placement happens (unless it's foster care) then the adoption is permanent and there's no backsies so that is a good thing for us. However, we were on board all the way up until he was born and were about to pack up and go to the hospital to be with him, and we got word that the BM's boyfriend at the time had convinced her that they could parent and we were told to stay home till further notice. It all just went downhill from there, and we know now that he is in foster care and cannot reach the BM or contact in any way. It's incredibly frustrating.

when I was a youth, my parents has a foster kid who from birth to 2 years old lived about 85% of his life with us. The other 15% was brief intervals where his mom would get clean. We wanted to adopt him, but unfortunately that 15% was just enough to keep him from being eligible. The last time he went back to her my parents were so disgusted that they retired from fostering.

And that is the exact scenario where the subject of this meme applies, it's so upside down it's unreal. And you have to wonder, what is the child's life like now? What could it have been like had he been placed for adoption? I'm for careful open adoption, let the child live a better life and still know their birthmother, and if she's in a situation where addictions are present then the potential of having a relationship with their child can be inspirational to get clean. And if they don't get clean then the child is still with a good family and would be shielded from that environment. It happens all the time. I don't think there is enough emphasis on open adoptions, and many people are appalled by the idea of it because there is such a bad stereotype associated with it. If more people understood how beneficial it can be if done right, I think you'd find that many relationships could be healed and lives changed.

Right?