We're people not animals, so please stop saying you adopted your kitty or puppy, it's not the same.

Same

Why is that?

I like animals. But i hate the comparison to humans

Thank you! There would be many fewer orphans in the world if children were given the attention dogs and cats in the pound are like in commercials. Probably more money is given to the SPCA than any adoption agency. :/

Yeah. If i cant have kids i may adopt (with prayer) and see what the good Lord wants

Never thought I would have been there, but wouldn't change a thing!

How many

Just one so far, a little girl :) she'll be 3 in December

3 year olds are fun

Same age as my daughter :)

Her mother is caucasion, but we don't know anything about the father and she was conceived and born right here in SC. Her birth mom said the father was black, but could have been mexican, we just really don't know! She looks more hispanic than anything really so we think it was most likely the mexican. For her race on her birth certificate, they literally put a question mark, lol! we joke that she's our little question mark on occasion, and it just goes to show how messy and at the same time beautiful adoption is.

My birth certificate would be covered in question marks, if I had one. I don't even know my birthday. My adoptive dad pulled it out of a hat so they would have something to put on the immigration papers. So he picked the 18th Nevada he wouldn't forget since his is on an 18. And May because he likes the spring. No one even knew a year I've come to live my birthday though!

You are from South America, so your daughter and mine may actually look similar too! She has deep tanned skin and brown hair, brown eyes. Not judging your appearance as I obviously have no idea what you look like! but I'm envisioning some essence of latin american blood and that is what our daughter looks like.

Yep I'm Latin American but from Central. Is your daughter from South America? Which country? Be sure if you're able to teach her her native language as well as English so that one day she will be able to communicate with her family if she ever wants to meet them. I lost my ability to speak Spanish soon after I was adopted and that's something I really regret. I haven't been able to learn it no matter how many books I study or classes I take.

Wow, that's wild! And to think, most people take this stuff for granted.

Yes, but I think that's a flaw in the system to use the same terminology. This article kinda states better where I'm coming from. Growing up adopted my family rescued about a dozen dogs over the years from the pound yet I never once heard them refer to their adopted pets. They were just our "pound puppies" I think rescued is a better word. It's like the word adoption is a sacred thing to us who are adopted.

https://adoption.com/why-you-should-say-rescued-instead-of-adopted-when-talking-about-your-pets

I not debating. I understand your position, I am just offering insight as to why people say they adopted a dog or cat. That is what they call it when you and get an animal from the shelter, therefore people use that term. I will tell you though, I had someone crawl my butt when I said I rescued my little Tater Tot. They were really irritated because apparently I did not "rescue" him because I did not actually go in to some awful situation and literally rescue him from peril. So I don't know. I don't have personal feelings either way when people mention obtaining a dog or cat from a shelter. Sometimes I say I adopted, sometimes I say I rescued. Either term lands me in hot water. LOL

can't win for losing...people and their PC culture, sheesh. what did they do for the animal that you brought home and gave a better life?

I have gotten to the point that I just do and say what ever I want. I don't seek to intentionally offend, but I am not going to mull over every word just to determine if there would be an argument on word semantics. I miss the days when we didn't have all this sensitivity.

Sensitivity? Yeah i'll let James speak for me on that...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPiOKNGlknY

Never heard of that guy until now. That was pretty funny.LOL

Oh he's hilarious! And honestly, comedians these days really just have such dirty filthy acts anymore like everything is just shock comedy, "oh yeah they just said that" kind of stuff and it aggravates me that real comedy...actually being funny...is so rare. James Gregory does a good job of keeping everything fairly clean and he's just funny. He uses some profanity, but it mostly goes with his act and he stays away from the really bad words, and what he does use is well placed and done with good comedic timing. Check out some of his other stuff, you'd like it being from Georgia :)

I feel the same! I don't necessarily tune out at the mention of a cuss word, but I am sick of the nastiness. Someone like Amy Schumer centers her entire act around being just plain filthy. It gets old.

John Pinette, rest in peace, was another good one that had really good humor without all the nastiness. I loved his stuff. And don't get me started on Kathy Griffin...that is an utterly disgusting woman, outside and in. I saw one of her standup comedy things before the world even knew who she was on a late night comedy central thing, and I swear her entire act was about getting wax jobs done on things that I could go my entire life without knowing about or envisioning...I watched it for about 30 minutes, just hoping it would eventually get better, it never did so I decided to watch infomercials instead since I couldn't sleep and there was nothing else on.

Yes, I have. And he was good. Sorry, I guess I'm a little late replying!

I think it's because the shelters push that word because some marketing genius thought that was better and easier to say than "bringing an animal home from the shelter".

Who knows. I personally have no preference. But I won't be tip toeing around trying to avoid offending someone. Every day it seems there is some other word or phrase someone wants us to avoid. Who can keep up?

I hear you. And from the other side I used to get so worked up when people said things like "Do they know their parents?" Or "do they wonder why their mom gave them away" I remember teaching classes on adoption at local high schools as part of "Community outreach" and we had lists of "Do say" and "Don't say"

Now I don't care so much about vocabulary. they're my kids and that's all that matters to me.

My husbands employer recently held a huge meeting with these top dogs coming in to read a huge list of words and phrases they are not allowed to say anymore. IT's getting out of hand.

I am a firm believer that love is what determines parenthood. And as long as they are loved and know it, they know who they belong to. I think people should think before asking certain questions.

As I have "matured" I find that for the most part when it comes to the language surrounding adoption, he have to carefully apply Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (or ignorance)."
Most people who ask those questions do so not to be insensitive, but in an effort to better get to know my family. I had to ask myself, "when people ask me these questions to better get to know me, do I also want to reveal that I am a pedantic twit?"
I mean if somebody was asking me intrusive question because they were being an asshole, then hell yeah, I would unleash my inner vocabulary nazi.

Call it what you will, I love my pets and care an awful lot for them, and compared to the life they might have lived they are much better off with my family so yeah it's similar, and I dont have a problem calling it adoption, but it's not the same either, its animal adoption. That said, I draw the line at calling pets your "kids". I know someone who has flat out said they would rescue their animals before someone's child. Called them out on it a few times but he's sort of a troll in real life so I dont worry too much about it.

My family has only owned pets rescued from the pound or shelter so I'm not against don't it. I just think the wording should be changed. I'm curious what does your little say when you refer to her as your adopted daughter but also refer to your dog as adopted? Is she too young? It may be confusing for some children to see the distinction. Maybe I came from somewhere like a kennel too? Sort of thing.

Interesting questions! I may have read it wrong so my answer might not make sense, but we really don't call her our adopted daughter, she's just our daughter and we talk about adoption and what that means with her. Really she's too young still to understand the difference, but yes these are the conversations that as parents we're trying to prepare ourselves to be able to answer for her when she has them. We make sure that she knows we brought her home from the hospital just like all babies, and try to help her know she's just like any other child with a mom and dad that love her. We love the dog too, but it's just different. Am I missing your point or am I answering your question?

Yes of course, perhaps I'm the one missing the point, lol. I guess I've never had to face a scenario where the word adoption was so openly spoken of in a home. Like my parents never talked about it with my brother and I although they did their best to answer questions, I guess they figured we knew where we came from since we were adopted a little older (3 and 4 years old) so I guess if they had told me the dog was adopted I would have wondered in my kid mind (if I had not been there when they rescued a dog) what the difference was.

Our daughter has been growing up with our dog same as any other kid would, so I'm thinking she probably just thinks the dog has always been there and I imagine doesnt really care where it came from, it's just a friend to her :) but I can see how your situation would be different having been adopted later in childhood. How did you process things, like when did it really sink in that the family you grew up with wasnt your blood family?

I always knew they weren't my blood family so I can't say it ever "sunk in" besides I looked nothing like my adoptive parents (mom with her straight blonde hair and green eyes) and with no Hispanics to be had besides my brother all my life I always felt like the black sheep literally.

Gotcha. Would you say you are stronger for it or do you ever struggle with it? Sorry for all the questions, I'm constantly trying to think about what my daughter is going to experience as she grows up, and you sort of have a unique perspective on it :)

No worries, ask away! I think being adopted had made me a stronger person even though it was difficult being so different and not knowing as much as I would like growing up. My parents I guess wanted to protect me but I think being more open to talking about my adoption would have helped. On the flip side some things shouldn't be said to a young child that might not understand. You really have to guage maturity.

That's kind of the approach we're taking with ours, we are being as open as we can to discuss anything she wants to but of course there is a very mature side of the subject. Birth parents don't make the decision to place their child for adoption when everything is going right in their lives, quite the opposite and what we know of her life, it's pretty tragic and plagued with misfortune and bad circumstances. So, yes we will not be discussing any of that until our daughter is mature enough...some of it we may not even talk about unless she just pins us down in a conversation about it.

I would say too don't be afraid if she shows curiosity about her birth family, it doesn't mean she loves you any less. I think my parents feared rejection. So I didn't really get to learn about my culture and language until I got older and could research and travel there. it is hard to do that though if your daughters background isn't 100%certain.

My kids, my cats. We adopted our kids, we GOT our cats.