????

Lol

Nooooooo! lol

I hid it from her for a long time. I smoked for a while, realized how bad it was and switched over to vaping but was still latched onto nicotine. She found my e-cig one day and I tried to hide it from her (which of course is the worst thing I could have done), and she promptly jerked a knot in my tail and I confessed what I had been doing. It was not easy, and quite embarrassing to swallow my pride and admit I was addicted. I think that admission was actually harder than quitting. Haven't had a craving now for almost a year and a half though so I'd say that chapter in my life can finally be behind me. If you haven't dabbled in the stuff don't ever try it.

wow...that must have been really hard for you to do, but it's good that you did it. Sometimes the hardest things for people to do is to be open, and tell others about their problems, but it tends to be worth it in the end.....and it shows a lot that you were able to do that

oh yeah it sucked at the time, no mistaking that! but i'm better off for it.

She had bone cancer which she refused to let most people know about. One day she couldn't get up out of bed anymore. Her sister let me know when I called just to talk. My kids and I then began going up to her house in the mountains to care for her during the week, and her sister would come back on the weekends. It was hard work in every respect. However the mental and emotional work were the most difficult. She did not want me there. The first week in she would tell me first thing in the morning as I was emptying her catheter and giving her meds that "this isn't gonna work out." By the next week she was calling me by her sister's name. She didn't try to kick me out anymore after that.

This was the most bitter sweet event in my life. I will always remember the mornings sitting in her room having coffee, while we talked, and her going in and out of sleep. And in the evenings when she was at her best, the kids and I sitting in her room and juts talking and having what little time with her we could. Enjoying this time yet knowing it was the last we would have.

It was hard because she would not eat. She did not have an appetite. I felt guilty for having a sandwich when she was stuck in bed unable to eat anything. He mind would come and go as she had a bit of dementia. So there I was cooking for this sweet lady who would never take a bite. Watching her slowly fade. She was deeply Christian. She praised the Lord consistently never wavering in her faith. She said whether she lived or not she was a winner either way. With everyone praying for her to live, I found my self praying for her release. Whether it was through healing, or her leaving us. I knew the one thing I didn't want was for her to suffer, and to see someone slowly withering in this way makes it easier to let them go. This went on for about 6 weeks. I was not there when she passed. Her sister was. I inherited her little dog. Before she passed she called my kids in and took them by the hand and said, "In the name of Jesus I give you Little Red." Couldn't say no to that. Poor Red, when she was passing propped up on the side of the bed and barked. He must have been saying goodbye.

Wow nixie. That is really sad. But if she truly believed in God there is hope on a resurrection on that glorious day where He will destroy sin

You would be hard pressed to find another soul more devoted. I remember her stopping to witness to people in the grocery store.

Thats is so wonderful

I watched my grandma die when I was 13, mom when I was 28, and wife when 39.

Especially at a young age.

Wow.... That sounds like it was really emotional and hard go through. I've personally never had to watch anyone go through that, but I'm sure it was incredibly difficult.... Well, thank you for sharing, and I hope you're able to cherish the good memories, and the conversations you had with her through those times... Thanks for sharing

It was life changing. Sometimes I find myself dialing her number by accident meaning to call someone else. Little things like that make me sad.

That's really, really awful..... I honestly am not sure exactly how to respond, but I sincerely hope that in time you'll be able to move past it, and maybe it won't be such a sad memory

I know what you mean about not knowing how to respond. Sometimes you don't really need to respond. One of the many things I have been trying to get better at is making peace with not knowing what to say when people tell me certain things. I used to be the worst abut just saying something and having it be awkward and weird. Which is worse than saying nothing. LOL

Anyhoo, just sharing a little. I don't talk about anything very much. Sometimes it's nice just to speak on it. This is a good meme by the way. Gives people a chance to talk a little about something maybe they have tried t bury with out success.

Thanks, and Ill try to work on that too ☺

You're not so bad really. You seem to have a working brain! I believe your intelligence works for you and not just in academics. You seem more self aware than many other people in your age group. Which is likely why you get along so well with us old dusty prunes. LOL!

Lol thank you again 😂

can't lie, i've got a few gray hairs popping up here and there...funny that didn't start till we had a kid!

And I do not color it. Salt and peppers here! LOL! I always say if you live long enough to God gives you a free dye job!

Sorry to hear that darlin'. I've seen it happen with two of my grandparents, one with cancer and the other with dementia. I can't imagine seeing both.

Thank you. You know she was a dedicated soul. No nurse who came to her bed side left with out a prayer and a blessing. One was about 7 months pregnant and Memaw didn't let her out of there without blessing the baby. Witnessing until the end!

Sounds like a delightful lady, you are blessed to have had her as a grandmother!

That's a great story Nixie. So great you could help your grandmother in that way and make the bittersweet memories too.

All my grandparents are long gone and they mostly stayed in good health and mind and didn't suffer or longer too much in the end. But I'm seeing my parents rapidly age and their minds are going fast. I've seen it coming a long time and tried to prepare them and get them to make their own preparations but they've refused to admit it's coming. They always want to put it off even though they had to watch their parents age and are seeing their own peers now suffering from dementia etc. It's so frustrating and going to cause so much extra drama and work for us to deal with because they haven't planned ahead

I have one grandmother left. Once she passes I will be without grandparents.

Dementia is hard for everyone. Especially when they get agitated. Which often people do not realize they cause that without meaning to. If someone forgets telling them, "You already told me that 5 times." Just creates anxiety and worry. I would always just go with whatever she said. The same conversation playing n a 30 minute loop.

"Have you eaten today? There's all kinds of soup and lunch meat for sandwiches, I have some chicken in there. Why don't you go put some chicken in the crock pot?"

"That sounds like a good idea Memaw. I'll do that around lunch time. Do you want rice or beans with your chicken?"

"Oh, I think rice is good. There's all kinds of soup and lunch meat for sandwiches in there....."
Repeat repeat.
Trying to convince them that things they believe are true are not and vice versa is also a recipe for disaster. I managed to find ways of keeping her calm with out losing it myself.

You see this coming with your parents, and have tried to prepare them. But you can't prepare someone for losing their mind. No one wants to hear that or accept that it's coming especially if they have seen it happen to others. I know I wouldn't be receptive if someone tried telling me that. The best you can do is prepare yourself. And definitely seek support from people who understand. Because you will need care as well. I am always a imgflip message away speaking of which. Feel free to talk to me.

I had to end a friendship.

that's hard.....especially if you two were really close

One of my best friends in high school. But he screwed me over and I cut him loose.

oooof I'm familiar with the type, it was probably for the best that you let him go

and what a weird way to tell someone...

Lol, that's one way to swing things...cheers bud.

Lol

Well as far a physical activity. Probably hanging dey wall for 10 hours.
Mentaly as far a sadness. Not as in a personal struggle. Id say it be my great grandmother gg die.

I'm sorry your feeling sad, that's not quite like you.....and I'm sorry about your great grandmother, great grandparents, and grandparent sin general are hard to loose

Yeah

That sounds really tough...... I get you on this one

Sorry but I couldn’t resist

LOL!

50 shades