Can't Fill The Cup If You Don't Plug The Holes First.

A little like God's grace and the holes sin makes.

That's an awesome way to think about it, great perspective.

I'm like that effect I don't have nay self validation, I'm just always empty...

You talk as though you've been beat down a lot...come on now, tell me one thing valuable and cool about you. Be honest, with me and yourself!

We're going to do this! So I volunteer at something called the American folk festival, and over the five years I worked there I've had a combined total of over 90 hours. Last year I got an award for that from them. Well the school caught wiff of that, and I was presented a certificate signed by the school board...the thing is I always just feel like I didn't deserve it, and I can't stand the fact that it was framed because.... I feel like I'm bragging by being proud of myself. ...idk I mean I'm smart, and in accelerated, all my teachers love me, and yet I feel horrible because of that....

Bragging is being a total jerk about one's accomplishments and throwing them in everybody's face. Acknowledging one's hard work when asked about it not only shows caring through engagement in conversation, but also validates the conversation and the one conversing...confused yet?! Lol. You're not bragging, you are simultaneously answering my question and also stating to yourself that you have something to be proud of! See how this works? You gotta build your self confidence chica. When someone compliments you, take it and run with it, that is a reflection on your personality and you should celebrate it!

Hahahahaha good one! Me be PROUD of myself. Let me tell you last week I was at someone's camp right, and I saved this little kid from drowning.... Like they fell in the water, and I and to jump in after them. I ended up crying that night because I had been proud of myself for that, and how terrible of a feeling that was..... It's just IDK I don't think I deserve to be happy or proud, or feel accomplished...i feel like I deserve to be worthless, I always feel like I'm bothering someone, or hurting someone..... I haven't done anything to deserve half the things I'm given, I'm really a terrible person.... At least i feel that way.... IDK ...idk

What is something terrible about that? What is something terrible you've done? Accomplishments are something you should be proud of, dont discredit them.

I'll try not to...... I find that I often destroy most things that show any accomplishments...... Ill do things like that a lot, have a mental break down, throw everything away, or break it.... One day I smashed all the photos of me on the ground.... Because I hated them, and I hated me.... But um yeah....ill try, and thanks as usual parky, you're pretty great at this 😊 I'll be proud of myself for once, I mean look at me! 100k points on memes! Now that, I'm actually proud of my self for.... For once...yay.... Eeeeeeeek this conversation is way too emotional for me...but it can't hurt I guess.... IDK I'm rambling don't mind me at all...

No need for self destruction...happiness is ok to feel :)

Yeah, I guess, thank you

And now I feel like a horrible person for writing that..... Im sorry IDK...that felt way to close to bragging for comfort, sorry if it came off that way.... IDK...