I totally agree with you. There was a kid who shot up my former high school and it was another one of those cases where the dad had no idea that the kid had taken his gun to school. And when you really get into the story it was a case where it was just the kid and the dad, the dad was never around and when be was paid little attention to him. Just a couple hours a day could have been all that was needed to turn this kid down another path. Now, I'm not saying that there wasn't something seriously different in this kid's head and he wouldn't have done it anyway or that the circumstances that he was facing was any excuse to kikl two people. However, there could have been a chance to catch some of the warning signs.
With my kids, of course I celebrate their successes. I also want them to be proud of themselves and own their achievements. Same thing with their failures; I want them to own their failures just the same and use them as learning opportunities.
I tell them all the time that I don't care if they fail at something. I'd rather see them try and fail than to not try at all.
Sorry to get long winded, I hope I stuck more or less to the topic