What Kind Of Selfish Me, Me, Me, Do You Have To Be For That? Be Sure And Call If You Need Money Though. I'll Get Right On It.

You're right ya know.

It should at the very least be a shared day. You know she acknowledges HeR mother.

My husband goes to have breakfast or dinner with his mother, and I deal with my mother. I used to send cards to all the mothers and grandmothers on both sides but he one day said he wanted to get his mother a card himself. (we lived out of state at the time.) Then when he failed to ever send birthday or mother's day cards guess who they blamed? Me. That's who. These holidays can cause a lot of stress.

I raised three kids by myself without child support or any help from anyone other than all the doctors, specialists and surgeons that saved one of them. No friends or family from any direction helped. I sent handmade gifts to all the mothers I knew. There was no money but I've never let that stop me.

Yesterday I got a hug and a two liter bottle of Dr pepper, that I don't drink, from my 35 year old son (the one the doctors saved) and a lawnmower blade from my hubby. I actually appreciate that. It meant a lot to me as lame as that sounds. But....

I didn't even see my daughter even though she was home all day and my eldest son never calls or acknowledges me. I put a stop to the few times he did call years ago because I had to listen to everything they did for her mom and how busy it kept him all day and that's why he called two minutes before he went to bed.

Stress isn't the bad part. It's the hurt from the broken mom heart that's bad. My ex mother in law used to say, "They step all over your feet when they're little but they step all over your heart when they're grown".

That one being busy with the in-law mom would anger me the most. In fact, it's not even my kid and It's irritating.

When my kids were too little to even know to think about holidays like this my husband never made any effort to help them acknowledge me. So every mother's day I was stewing away trying not to blow my top. I felt that I can deal with my birthday being forgotten, or being overlooked on Christmas. But I EARNED Mother's Day. I finally let him have it. Now the kids are old enough to read a calendar and mark off days etc... They remember on their own and hound him to take them to buy me something.

I'm sorry you didn't really get what you deserved for Mother's Day. I don't think it's fair in any way to put so much of yourself into your children and not be acknowledged just the one day out of the year. I would be angry and sad as well. That hits right in the heart.

My daughter in law is indescribable. I don't get to know my granddaughters either. I had to thank her for inviting me to their wedding, that I paid for, and she did not thank me. I was expected to send gifts and money to the girls through the years but not expect to even know if they got it let alone a thank you. You wouldn't believe the stories even if I had the time to write them.

For me the absolute worst part was the day I finally had to walk away. I lived in perpetual heartache and found myself tolerating her crap just to make things easier for my son. If I called her out he took the hit.

After years of being with her he's changed. When my mother died I called him and all he said was, "I'm sorry Mom but I hadn't seen her in ten years so it's like I didn't know her anyway". Now I won't talk to anyone of them. It's like ... You can only take so much before you have to save yourself.

Time is on my side. The girls will be grown soon so I can contact them directly and when their kids are gone I guarantee he will see her differently. I didn't teach him to stay forever like most mom's do when they guide their children into marriage. I taught my kids to stay and stay absolutely committed ... Until the day comes when it becomes clear that they do not love you as much as they love themselves. I knew he'd marry a bitch. He's too kind. Well...he was.

That is so awful and such a slap in the face to you. I admit that I do not like my Mother in law. But I have never tried to keep her from the kids, or my husband from her. I do not know your son or his wife but I can they should both be thoroughly ashamed.

Walking away was all you could have done.Where there is such great determination to shut you out your every effort will be seen as an intrusion. Yes, those grandchildren will be plenty old enough to make their own choices and no one can stop you from seeing them or talking to them then. I am so sorry that you have had to put with this in any respect. I hope venting about it here has helped your frustration in some way. I am always ready to lend an ear if you ever need it. ((HUGS))

Thank you. You're too kind.