STOCKINGS WERE HUNG 'ROUND DAD'S NECK LIKE A TIE,
ALONG WITH A NOTE THAT SAID "PRESENTS OR DIE". CHILDREN WERE PLOTTING ALL NIGHT IN THEIR BEDS,
WHILE THE WIFE'S CONSTANT WHINING WAS SPLITTING HIS HEAD. ..AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SANTA APPEARED,
A SNEER ON HIS FACE, BOOZE IN HIS BEARD. BUNDY HE SAID, YOU ONLY SELL SHOES,
YOUR SON IS A SNEAK-THIEF, YOUR DAUGHTERS' A FLOOZE.
HO HO SANTA SAID, SHOULD I MENTION YOUR WIFE,
HER HAIRS LIKE AN A-BOMB, HER NAILS LIKE A KNIFE. AS HE CLIMBS UP THE CHIMNEY, THAT FAT PIECE OF DUNG,
HE MOONED ME TWO TIMES, HE STUCK OUT HIS TONGUE.
AND I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM, AS HE BROKE WIND WITH GLEE:
YOU'RE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, YOU'LL NEVER BE FREE.
