I'M TED TUCKER AND MY JOB IS TO PROVIDE YOU WITH NEWS MEANT TO DISTRACT, CONFUSE AND APPEAL TO YOUR STRONGEST EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS. I'M ALSO HIGHLY SKILLED AT CREATING ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS OF THE TRUTH. IN MY NEXT REPORT I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING ELSE TO GET OUTRAGED OVER AND I WILL EXAGGERATE THE TRUTH TO EXACERBATE THE ISSUE AND COMPLETELY DRIVE YOU OVER THE EDGE. CREATED BY: SHANE CARLSON
