MEANWHILE IN BIZARRO WORLD... TRUMP IS A LOVED, RESPECTED, WAR VETERAN, WHO SOLVED WORLD PEACE. DONNY JR. IS IN CHARGE OF PETA. IVANKA RUNS THE GREATEST ORGANIZATION ON WOMEN'S RIGHTS. ERIC IS A FIVE-TIME JEOPARDY CHAMPION. AND MELANIA DOESN'T LOOK AT TRUMP LIKE SHE WANTS TO SEE HIM RIPPED APART BY HUNGRY HYENAS.
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