WHY DID I GET DIVORCED? WELL, LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY. MY WIFE DIDN'T WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. MY PARENTS FORGOT AND SO DID MY KIDS. I WENT TO WORK AND EVEN MY COLLEAGUES DIDN'T WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. AS I ENTERED MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY SAID, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOSS!" I FELT SO SPECIAL. SHE ASKED ME OUT FOR LUNCH. AFTER LUNCH, SHE INVITED ME TO HER APARTMENT. WE WENT THERE AND SHE SAID, "DO YOU MIND IF I GO INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MINUTE?" "OKAY," I SAID. SHE CAME OUT 5 MINUTES LATER WITH A BIRTHDAY CAKE, MY WIFE, MY PARENTS, MY KIDS, MY FRIENDS, & MY COLLEAGUES ALL YELLING, "SURPRISE!!!" WHILE I WAS WAITING ON THE SOFA... NAKED.
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