I don't know if you are a smoker or not, but let me throw this scenario at you. Lets say you don't smoke and that you don't allow smoking in your house. A stranger walk up to your house, knocks on your door, says they want to come in because they need help, and they are smoking. You want to see if you can help them, but are you going to let them in while they are smoking or are you going to ask them to put it out first? To make this go faster instead of doing multiple replies here, let me just keep going. Lets say you ask them to put it out, they do, so you let them in. You start talking for a little while, all of a sudden they light up another cigarette. You remind them there is no smoking allowed in your house, they say they forgot and just did it out of habit so they put it out and you continue the conversation. A little bit later, they light up another one. Here is the question I want to pose to you that I want you to answer. How many times are you going to tell them they are not allowed to smoke in your home before you kick them out and change your mind about helping them? If you kick them out and refuse to help them, are you still showing them love, or can it be viewed that you are only willing to help them if they follow your rules?
Another question for you, is loving someone who first loved you and even sacrificed themselves to save you really that much to ask for? Considering no other religious deity has this as their only requirement but requires you to do so much more to get accepted into their heaven, I really see this as a small price to pay. However it may be too much to pay for some people because they want to be able to do whatever they want without any consequences, and what they want to do may go against God, so really they can only love themselves.