TRUMP GAVE A PRESSER THIS MORNING IN WHICH HE CITES SEVERAL REASONS FOR THIS DECISION; THERE IS BREAKING NEWS COMING OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE THIS MORNING. PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP, THE 45TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, IS RESIGNING. HE’S HAD IT WITH THE FERAL WHINING AND SHRILL SCREECHES OF LOSER DEMOCRATS. TRUMP SAID HE COULD NOT TAKE THE SHRILL, GRANNY INDIAN-WANNABE VOICE OF LIZZIE WARREN ANYMORE. HE ALSO CITED THE FAILURE OF NANCY PELOSI’S FACE TO ACTUALLY MOVE WITH EXPRESSION DUE TO HER MASSIVE BOTOX INJECTIONS. HE CLAIMED THEY WERE CAUSING NIGHTMARES. TRUMP ALSO CITED THE INABILITY OF REPUBLICANS TO JUST GET ALONG AND AGREE ON ANYTHING, NOT EVEN THE TIME OF DAY. HE ALSO NOTED THEIR CONSTANT DETERMINATION TO FORM CIRCULAR FIRING SQUADS. ANOTHER REASON FOR RESIGNING IS RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA! TRUMP COMPLAINED HE CAN’T EVEN GET GOOD RUSSIAN CAVIAR ANYMORE, OR RUSSIAN DRESSING ON HIS SALADS, BECAUSE OF IDIOT DEMOCRATS WHO KEEP CLAIMING HE WAS SOMEHOW COLLUDING WITH THEM.
TRUMP SAID IT IS SAD THAT HE HAD TO COME TO THIS DECISION, AS ALL HE WANTED WAS TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, BUT HE HAD NO ALTERNATIVE, AND WISHED PRESIDENT TO-BE PENCE AND THE COUNTRY WELL. APRIL FOOLS! IF ANYONE THINKS GOD EMPEROR TRUMP WOULD LET THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DOWN THEY ARE THE FOOLS.
