dude I know it may seem like if you do your gonna die but get child support, help center, if you know anyone with military families ask them for support. I have met ppl with pasts like that and they got help even when it was hard. I don't know if your Christian or not but please pray over your mom and family. This is a huge deal and as a Christian i'm shaking as I'm typing like it's scary I am begging you to try to get help without your mom knowing please