Alright, listen up, mfs, because I’m only saying this once. I had nothing to do with 9/11. I don’t know why y’all keep bringing my name into this, but I’m sick of it. I wasn’t there, I didn’t plan shit, and I don’t even f**king fly, okay? Heights freak me out, and so do airplanes. You think I’m out here plotting terrorist attacks when I can’t even figure out how to use my f**king microwave half the time? Like, how tf did my name even get involved in this shit? I'm just minding my own f**king business, and now mfs are out here acting like I’m some Bond villain. For real, y’all need to chill. I was at home on 9/11 eating dorito, and thinking about massive cocks. That’s it. No conspiracies, no plans, no nothing. So before any more mfs come at me with this bullshit, let me be clear: y’all sound stupid as f**k. Get a life, stop blaming random mfs, and go touch some grass. Jesus Christ.
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