It feels good

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

I do need upvotes. And followers. Wanna know why? "I have a dream." That one day, every person in this stream will control their OWN actions. A hub of the TRULY free, dammit. A nation of MEMES, not announcements. Ruled by HUMOR, not popularity. Where the site mods' changes change to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where rules and the stream description are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every man is free to think -- to meme -- for himself! F**k all these limp-dick site mods and chicken-shit "owners". F**k this 24/7 Internet spew of "im oh so depressed" and popular user bullshit. F**k "MSmg pride". F**k the shitsts! F**k all of it! MSmg is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it -- we need to pull it out by the roots. WIpe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new MSmg will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The weak will be purged, and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit, they will make MSmg GREAT AGAIN!

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherf**ker, he pissed on my f**king wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-f**kin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my f**king wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He f**ked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna f**k the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the f**king Earth, now get outta my f**king sight, before I piss on you too!