After having sex with the 4th girl of my young life at the time, I decided to get an STD check. Not for any physical reasons, mostly for the emotional reassurance. Anyways, I called my neighbor across the street who is 3 years older than me (basically my big brother) and I told him that I made an appointment to get checked and I asked him what it entailed. He said it wasn't too bad; they did a sperm sample, swabbed his dick, checked his blood etc etc. So I felt pretty prepared going in there a few days later. On my way to the clinic I was feeling pretty nervous to ejaculate in a cup but I reassured myself that it was going to be fine.
When I finally got there, an older lady called my name and handed me a clear cup and escorted me to the restroom and said, "Please go in here." I was picturing more of a comfortable room where I could do my private thing of choking my chicken but I thought f**k it, the bathroom will suffice. I remember looking around for some pornographic material because my neighbor said that they provide you with some but there was nothing. I remember thinking what the f**k, this place just expects us to use our imagination? Disappointed, I said oh well, not like I haven't used just my imagination before. So I began…yes... masturbating over the sink…anyways I remember amazingly rubbing one out pretty f**king fast…almost too fast….so I thought that I'd wait in there an additional 10 minutes because I didn't want her to think that I was some type of freak. After waiting in there for what felt like an eternity I finally handed my semen filled cup back to the old lady nurse who acted impatient and upset that I took so long. I began following her down the hallway.
The woman set the cup on this desk table thingy, looked at it, and then picked it up again and she jiggled the cup a little bit…. She stopped…I held my breath as I looked at her face as I saw it turn from confusion to sheer horror. She turns to me and goes, "Ummmm sir, WE ONLY NEEDED YOUR URINE!" I will never forget the feeling that I had at that very moment. My face got red, I felt immediately hot, my legs felt weak. I just wanted to get the f**k out of there. There have been so many embarrassing moments in my life but luckily I can think pretty quickly on my feet and I can dig my way out of most uncomfortable situations. As for this moment…there was no f**king shovel in sight for me to dig myself out of. Nothing to say nothing to do, i just stood there terrified.
