A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey. New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper. My New Years resolution is 1080p I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night. My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang! I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year! If 2015 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages. This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess. You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop. People treat New Year's like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow. I'll remember 2015 like it was yesterday Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2016 Please? In 2016, may your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions. I hereby resolve not to catch fire while riding a flaming hoverboard....again. Dear God, my prayer for 2016 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don't mix it up like you did this year. I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they'd get a Bloody Mary. Remember you can reset your resolutions on January 14th (Orthodox New Year) and February 8th (Chinese New Year). After that, even I can't help you. I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2015 and a beautiful beginning into 2015. Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them. Every year I make a resolution to change myself....... this year making a resolution to be myself!