This is what gun free school zones get you.
Mental illness on multiple levels caused this and countless other incidents like it. A rock in bad hands killed Abel. A rock in good hands killed Goliath. It's definitely not about the rock, folks. And it is definitely not about the guns. Guns don't murder people, unhinged leftists do. It takes a good guy with a gun to keep it from ever happening again. imgflip.com/i/8nxpr5
The Irish Way
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.
Thank you Sheri, for emailing this to us and thank you to our friends across the pond: The Irish Way! imgflip.com/i/8mwxzs
Dear Generation Z & Millennials
–Your grandma wore very short mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra...
–She listened to Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and Rolling Stones.
–She rode on motorcycles and fast cars.
–She smoked tobacco and other things...
–She drank gin-tonics, whiskey, and whatever...
–She came home at 4 am and left for work in the morning...
Know that you will never be as cool as your grandma.
Excuse me but someone had to say it! imgflip.com/i/8mrwx5
Wanna spoon?
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."
I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon." imgflip.com/i/8m8j1h
Walmart is closing 23 stores in 8 states (all blue).
Target is closing 9 stores in 4 states (all blue).
Walgreens/CVS are closing 900 stores (mostly blue)
Bed Bath and Beyond is closing its remaining 360 stores.
Lowes has closed 50 stores.
Macy's is closing 150 stores (mainly blue)
Starbucks has closed 61 stores (mainly blue)
Home Depot is closing 15 stores
Dollar Tree is closing 1,000 stores
Foot Locker is closing 400 stores
Gap is closing 350 stores
Party City is closing 24 stores (mainly blue)
Big Lots is closing stores in California and Colorado
Burger King is closing 400 stores
Best Buy is closing 20 stores
Boston Market is closing 27 stores
Kmart only has 2 stores left
Sears closed all but 22 stores
Regal Cinemas has closed 429 movie theaters
Kroger grocery chain has closed 413 stores
US Bank is closing 23 branches
Wells Fargo is closing over 60 branches
Capital One is closing 50 branches
Bank of America is closing 20 branches
All because Biden's Build Back Better economy is so wonderful. imgflip.com/i/8k2g23
