Damn that's going to the venting doc for sure! I didn't even realize how epic that sounded until I read it again 2 more times! I just started yapping tbh. Didn't go over one part of it before clicking Post Comment.
Everyone extremely close to me already knows about the stuff that I do. They first told me to stop, but let me tell you a personal story that started my dangerous adventures.
I used the think the same as you; I needed to stay alive for the people that care about me. However, one day during my sunrise walk. I saw 7 squirrels; 3 females were caring to a nest, 3 males were looking for food...
One... one sat atop the tree... Large grin, no interest in Females, or family, or friends, or his well being. He sat there with his face to the sunrise, his chest to the heavens, on his hind legs standing atop the world.
So if you want to care about the people around you to the extent of changing your lifestyle... if you want to worry about making the people around you happy at the sacrifice of your well being... if you're worried about doing whatever you can to keep yourself caring for everyone around you... DO IT! That is your choice! That is your lifestyle! There's nothing wrong with it! However... if you think that just because it isn't wrong; it's the only way to do it. Then giving advice isn't for you.
Because you may live to appease the people around you; which is completely fine. That is an honorable role, and we need people like you.
However, I will live a world where I leave it knowing that I regret nothing. I will leave this world knowing that I was good at what I did. I will leave this world knowing that I inspired others. I will leave this world knowing that I made it a better place. I will leave this world knowing that people were happy to have known me. I will leave this world knowing that I am part of a small percentage of people who have been soaked with champagne on a podium. I will leave this world knowing that I have felt the touch of an open wheel steering wheel. I will leave this world knowing that I drove through hell to make it to the top step of that podium. I will leave this world knowing that thousands of people tuned in to watch me race. I will leave this world knowing that I reached speeds of up to 168 mph.
I will leave this world knowing that if I were to be able to go back in time... I WOULD DO ALL OF IT AGAIN!!
Have I ever told you about the 37 marks on my wall? Every time I come close to death, go to the hospital, or ALMOST get terribly injured/killed. I put a mark on my wall.
