Think of it as neighbourgs, I am poor and you are my rich neighbourgh, if we set for some kind of mutual agreement and you are ok with it, we can share your wealth in exchange of my services or something else that you might need. If you ignore me and i'm about to die from starvation i would need to choose violence to survive. In the 1st case we both win, because you would give me what you don't need you even would gain something useful, like a worker (that also thanks you for saving his life). In the second case, one ends dead you might end poorer (in the case you took damage or lost some properties). That's more or less how i see it.