As many of you know, I joined a college gym due to the hot poon there. From my six years of higher education (four years of undergrad and two years getting my masters), I came to realize there is nothing quite like porking college broads.
On late Saturday afternoon, I strolled into the fitness complex wearing a fur coat with "DOCTOR SWOLE" embroidered on the back (My gym buddies nicknamed me Doctor Swole back in '03) over my shorts and wife beater, toothpick in my mouth. Taking off my aviators, I look over to the squat rack, and I don't like what I see. A frat boy. I already know he's not squatting.
"Curls" I said to myself, muscles flaring as I walk over to the rack. Frat boy is in mid set, groaning with each curl, 10 lb plates on each side. 65 lbs?!?!? You're curling 65 lbs in the squat rack? Joe Gold would be turning in his grave.
While frat boy is getting his 4th or 5th rep done, I take off the 10 lb plate, and walk over to the other side and do the same.
Frat boy: <pissed off> Hey man, what the f**k was that?
Me: This is the squat rack, *NSYNC. You wanna curl, get your chicken chest on one of those swiss balls and pick up the plastic dumbbells, Sally.
Frat boy: Who the f**k do you think you are? Are you even a student here?
Me: <taking off my fur coat and resting it on the leg press> Alright, Timberlake. You had your chance. I tried to be a nice guy and I'm going to tell you one more time. No curling in the squat rack. Now get out of here before we have a problem.
Frat boy: Man, f**k this.
<Frat boy leaves the area. I load up the plates with 5 45 lb plates each side and rep it for 15. (I decided to take it easy, didnt get enough sleep last night.) Some cardio bunnies come over and start to make small talk.)
Cardio bunny 1: We thought that was really brave how you stood up to that guy. He thinks he owns this gym and he always makes rude comments to us!
Me: <still wearing my aviators - I rarely take them off> Just doing my job ladies. I'd love to chat, but as you can see, my quads need to be punished.
Cardio bunny 2: <biting her lower lip> Well, if you feel like it when you are done come over to Harrison Hall. Room 418.
Me: <agitated> Look hunny, I'm a busy man. I'll see what I can do. Get away from me.
I finish up my workout, put my fur coat back on and head over to Harrison Hall, Room 418.
CB2: Glad you could come.
Me: <stripping down> Yeah well, I need to shower up.
CB2: <Staring at my body, mouth open> Can I come with you? Please? Meet us
Caption this Meme
