This has been my relationship with my parents since I left their fundamentalist Christianity. The worst part is that they think this shit helps.

Good for you!
Thinking for yourself isn't as scary as being told what to think, how to be, and and having to conform to hypocritical dogma for the so called "unconditional love" that requires you to meet certain conditions.
And, yes! Being kicked out just creates resentments in you, and absolves them of any responsibility.