@ any of you were wondering what kind of past I had, here you go. More about it in comments below

When I was going into elementary school, I had high functioning autism, but very little of it. I didn't know about it until about 3rd or 4th grade. I was put in special ed. classes that were supposed to help me. Speech Pathology (I couldn't speak until age 4 1/2 and was only learning to talk), a psychologist (so I'd be less irritable and would know how to talk with people a little better), and a math tutor (I started this in 3rd grade). I hated Speech pathology because: "I already know what synonyms/antonyms, problem solving, sarcasm, etc. are! I'm not thick, you know" kind of mentality towards it. The pathologist told me one of my beliefs wasn't real (You don't say that shit to a child, EVER) and I was at the verge of crying, and would punish me if I was late. I hated psychology because: She expected me to have a lot of friends, and I was (and still am today) an introvert and only had a few and was okay with that, but she wasn't. I hated being expected to give someone eye contact in a conversation, ask questions, "keep the conversation going non-stop". Like, no bitch. I can end the conversation if I wanted to, and I don't have to keep it going like you tell me to. I hated math tutoring because: I only needed help with arithmetic and multiplication, but the way she saw it was like, "I'm horrible at math. I fail every test and don't do my homework because I can't do it. I need excessive help and attention. Also, please treat me like I'm stupid and won't learn anything from this." (Even if a child has a disorder like mine, you can piss them off just by trying to help them all the time.), she pulled me out of class during math lessons, which didn't help at all with what I would be trying to learn at that time. She would dock points if late, extremely moody, or freaking out if we didn't understand. All of that so called "help" made my years of elementary school hella worse than it needed to be. These are supposed to be the most important years of a child's life. Happy, even. I was really depressed, and I was able to hide it knowing all adults wouldn't understand and have that "You're a kid, there's no way you can be depressed!" mentality bullshit. Anyone can get depressed, regardless of age. This also didn't help the fact I was being bullied by nearly everyone and the faculty wasn't doing anything about it. I was bullied for a number of reasons (these are probably all of them or just to name a few) 1. Autism (even if you tell the schools you have very little-

- you still get mistreated by faculty) 2. I didn't have "a good taste in fashion". I always wore my cousin's old clothes which were too big or "ugly", according to most girls at that school, that I thought were pretty decent. 3. I touched a comb coated with dandruff on the playground in 4th grade in order to throw it away. In 4th grade, you have kids who still can't tell the difference between dandruff and lice. [almost] Everyone started a harassment game of tag over that stupid comb that I got rid of. I was treated like I was something poisonous (like nightshade flowers, for example). Despite being promised that the bullying was being taken care of, I was still mistreated. 4. This rude f**king kid I was in class in 5th grade said I was a s**t because I used to wear chunky leather black heel boots (They didn't cause discomfort when I walked or ran and they were kinda cute). He would assault me, swear at me, call me a demon (I'm clearly a human you dumb little c**t f**k), etc. 5. One word: Acne. 6. Being an introvert (not the same as being antisocial) These reasons are why I was depressed. I knew all too well adults blatantly ignore childhood depression and bullying, so I didn't "squeal" on anyone, fearing they would get revenge and do something to hurt me in the worst way. I told one of my teachers I was being bullied, and, I shit you not, responded with "What are you going to do about it?". The bullying ended when it was the last school year before 6th graders got moved into middle school and students got out for the summer. I found out I was going to a different middle school than everyone else because it was close to where my mom worked (way to go mom, right?). One of my friends who stuck with me through the years and didn't betray me was also going. When I feared about going into highschool, my older sister encouraged me to use all that experience to make me stronger. Needless to say, the bullies have created a monster. TL;DR Elementary schools treat kids with developmental disorders such as myself like shit. I got bullied over that.

Wow, that really sucks. How old/what grade are you now?

Going into 9th

I'm going into 10th. Good luck with high school though. Hope it's not bad there.

These days it's a different story. My step-daughter has high functioning autism and maybe it's just our persistence or certain people (teachers) but we've almost always had good experiences getting extra help, without having her subjected to remedial (special ed) classes. She's very intelligent but sometimes has trouble understanding concepts. It also probably helps that her mother and I are fairly fashion conscious and are always on her about personal hygiene. In elementary school, there were a few kids who would say things to her about being the last one out of class and about playing with bugs and stuff but she would always tell us when kids were mean and we would explain to her that they were just jerks and possibly even doing it because maybe they are treated that way at home and to ignore them and if it came to it, tell a teacher or the principal.

[image deleted]

Just that particular authority

I don't know if the two are related.... But when I was in lower elementary I had social anxiety. I got over that but I'm still introverted. It still gets me when I have to answer a question in class. Which is rare. That sounds awful what you went through though.