Apology post / admitting to a misunderstanding

First things first, the plans were 100% real. I know that the fact that I've done some arguably attention bait stuff before may make this look more fake, but I promise on everything that these posts were not suicide bait. Now, the big part. This has all been a massive misunderstanding. I was never 100% sure about whether or not I should or should not do it, but in that moment that I thought of the idea I just wanted nothing more than relinquishment. The thing is, I'd been on the edge about whether or not I should or shouldn't do it way longer ago than it might've seemed from the amount of context. The fact that I'm so bad at phrasing and communicating made this whole ordeal. So I feel like I should explain what truly happened in an as detailed way as I can to guarantee that I don't miss crucial information. The reason why I did the whole 12:40, 13/03/2026 shit was because I was trying to convince myself that this plan was the correct answer. Which it was absolutely not. Throughout the entirety of yesterday I did nothing except contemplate the plan. And what I think was my biggest mistake was leaving behind this piece of information that happened mere milliseconds after I'd posted the original venting post. I was closer to not doing it than doing it. The vent wasn't about admitting that I'm planning a murder, it was about the fact that I felt worse mentally than I've ever felt before, and about the fact that I started fearing myself and my impulsiveness. I was unclear in my phrasing and therefore it seemed that I was genuinely gonna do it. Deep down, I think I knew I never wanted to do that shit, and that it was just a poor mentality and a lot of stubbornness that ended up making me anxious about the fact that if I'd end up not doing it, that I'd never be able to get my life to recover because of the amount of bullshit decisions I made to be able to think the plan out that'll definitely come to haunt me later... And so I'd like to make an apology for the people who got caught up in this huge mess. I sincerely apologise for not being clearer with what was actually going on, I know deep down that it was because I was too stubborn to correct the misunderstanding. In the process of this I've not only made it worse for myself, but I also caused others to get involved in my mess. I made you all way too anxious about something that had a high chance of not happening. GrimNemo, Norther, Rewrite, and many others. Finally, about the smuggling a knife into school thing. I have to wake up very early to be able to go to school, and all of us are always not at our best during those early hours. I thought, "I'm gonna bring it just in case I change my mind and decide that I do wanna go through with it", Which is an INCREDIBLY stupid thing that I should've never done. The post I made about it was about me being scared of having to make the decision, not encouragement towards the fact that I chose one specific side of it. I don't know why the f**k I decided that putting the knife I smuggled to school in the image was a good idea, but it was most likely high amounts of stress from the situation, and I take full accountability for it. I take full accountability for everything that happened. It was never something that you all were involved with, even if you guys were trying to help. This was a mental battle with myself, that I should've never let escalate this far. Thank you for listening, ask me anything about it in case you still have questions about the whole ordeal.