Illustration of a sea urchin eating cabbage

talk about low budget flights, no food or movies? I'm outta here!

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I've found you! faker!

Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here

What you see is what you get! I'm a guy with a love of adventure and a need for speed!

I peed on your wife, Robotnik. She's mine now. That's the law.

WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT?? WHAT!

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherf**ker, he pissed on my f**king wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-f**kin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my f**king wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

[Explosion sounds] That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He f**ked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna f**k the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the piss DRRROPLLLETS hit the f**king Earth, now get outta my f**king sight, before I piss on you too!