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TONIGHT, ON DAYS OF OUR IRONIC, YET PREDICTABLE LIVES... DONALD TRUMP DOES A THING. HE LIBERATED THE VENEZUELAN PEOPLE OF THEIR CRUEL SOCIALIST DICTATOR BY SENDING HIS FORCES TO CAPTURE HIM IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT. (YES, I KNOW THE VICE PRESIDENT IS STILL THERE, BUT SHE CAN BE TAKEN CARE OF). VENEZUELANS EVERYWHERE CELEBRATE, AS THEIR GLORIOUS FREEDOM HAS RETURNED AT LONG LAST. LOOK AT THEIR JOYOUS FACES, THEIR GRATITUDE. THEY ARE FINALLY FREE. I HOPE EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD SHARES THIS SENTIMENT AND SUPPORTS THEM AS THEY MOVE TO A MORE PROSPEROUS FUTURE... THE F**K YOU MEAN NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY ABOUT THIS? ISN'T A GOOD THING WE HELPED KICK OUT A DICTATOR, WITH ZERO LIVES LOST, MIND YOU? OH, RIGHT. DEMOCRATS. ANYWAY... CEAUSESCU'S EVIL SPAWN ATTEMPTED TO MAKE AN APPEAL TO COURT YESTERDAY, SAYING THAT HE WAS 'KIDNAPPED' AND PLEAD NOT GUILTY TO CHARGES. THIS, COMING FROM A DRUG LORD WHO OPPRESSED HIS PEOPLE WITH AN IRON FIST, AND MADE ALLIANCE DEALS WITH IRAN, YEAH, SURE PAL. WE BELIEVE YOU 100%. HERE'S A LIST OF HIS CRIMES. THEY CONTAIN THE OBVIOUS, NARCO-TERRORIST CHARGES, COCAINE CONSPIRACY, CRIMES AGAINST HIS PEOPLE, CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE U.S., AND... HOLD ON, AM I READING THIS CORRECTLY? POSSESSION OF MACHINE GUNS? WTF!? LOL!? LMAO! I UNDERSTAND THE CONSPIRACY PART, BUT HAVING MACHINE GUNS IN GENERAL? THE F**K ARE WE DOING HERE GUYS? HAHAHAHAHAHA! AS WE RAP UP TODAY, MAY WE THANK THE LORD FOR HAVING THE FREEDOM TO LIVE IN AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREE. AND THANK JESUS FOR OUR SALVATION "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON, THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE" (JOHN 3:16). I APOLOGIZE FOR PREVIOUS TRANSGRESSIONS AND SINS, AS I WAS AND STILL AM FOOLISH. ONE THING I WILL BE SINCERE ABOUT, THANK GOD WE HAVE TRUMP. GOD SPEED, YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE. IN JESUS' NAME, AMEN. AND THAT CONCLUDES THIS EPISODE, OF DAYS OF OUR AMERICA. WAIT, THERE'S BONUS COVERAGE? SHIT... WELL, STAY TUNED.
