How theists look when they claim to know the state of existence before the big bang

I SWEAR, ONE SECOND THERE WAS NOTHING AND THE *HIC* NEXT, THERE WAS HER FACE SAYING PEEKABOO; HER FACE COULDN'T HAVE COME FROM NOWHERE SO *HIC* OBVIOUSLY GOD EXISTS; IT'S LIKE I'M ARGUING WITH A DRUNKEN INFANT